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10-11-14 (Cringe Warning for any Entries Before 2016)
So this is the start of my log. Unfortunately it is not the beginning of my time in the dd. I became a conscious on August 11, 2014. I'll start off with how my crew formed and what my first dreams were like. I had started having odd dreams, ones where I KNEW I was dreaming. I met Kyoya, an anime character from Ouran Highschool Hostclub. I was thrilled, obviously, to be able to talk to a fictional character. For three nights, I had dreams with Kyoya in them. We didn't talk, but I still knew I was dreaming. On the fourth night Kyoya was a little different... But I ignored that. He just had a different look on his face. Little did I know that it should end up that it wasn't the Kyoya from the past three nights, but an evil shapeshifter my crew and I would have to deal with later on. I had a small crush on Kyoya at the time, so I hoped I would see him again. The fifth night though, I met Zoro; another anime character but this time from One Piece. Now, I had crushes on MANY anime guys because I was just starting to watch it at the time; I had a damn list for God's sake! But Zoro was first, he always had been. (When Sibrel found out I had a crush on him, she laughed her ass off, then told me I had to cut it out because one of her OCs was paired with Zoro and it would mess up the roleplay we did through text with our characters. I still loved him though.) I talked with Zoro and asked him what this whole 'I can control my dreams' thing was and he told me I was a conscious and blah blah blah... And well, I decided to be Zoro's girlfriend; especially since after I talked to Kyoya that day, he was more of a brother to me after I got to know him. For the next three nights, Zoro and I got to know each other better (Keep your mouth shut Sibrel. =.=) And then after that it was the start of my crew. I liked it small; Noemi, Zoro, Kyoya. Just the three of us. Kyoya turned out to be a healer and a lover of coffee (I swear, if the man doesn't get his coffee, he's in a terribly foul mood) In a few days I realized Zoro and I would be having children. I also realized that they would be born a lot sooner then usual because since I'm a neko, the cat genes shortened the time. A couple weeks passed and we got a new crew member, Reenee. A tough-like girl with orange and yellow hair with a sassy attitude who had telekenic powers. She instantly had eyes for Zoro and he had no idea. She also didn't know I was his girlfriend. Or having his kittens. So when she tried to make a move on him, I did the thing any sensible, level-headed, normal person would do. But my sense of normal in that situation was to hiss in her face like a rabid cat and punch her onto the ground. (I know, jealous much?) After that things were straightened out. Turns out Reenee was secretly girly (Her room is so pink it would make tomboys cry. I did.) We got a technician named Josh, a tall boy with dark brown hair who was very shy. Josh is the best when it comes to hacking the internet and getting rid of those God-awful lemon fanfictions most of us hate that the fans posted about us. Reenee fell in love with Josh and now those two are dating. One day we went to the beach, the five of us (not counting my unborn kittens) and we had a pretty good time. Before we left, Reenee and I stayed to look at the sunset while the boys packed up the c̶a̶r̶ black creeper van with shock-absorbers. Well, our evil shapeshifter from before came back and tried to kill Reenee and I by drowning us. I, of course killed it. That was the first battle. Eventually, the kittens were born. We thought it was four, nope, five. (I was ready to destroy Zoro after I found that out.) We named them Midori, Zetro, Purrggh (We gave them strange names, don't judge.), Star, and Ender. And after that the crew was pretty much a start. We got more members, including my alter-ego and sister Ollie. Nobody likes her. She's as dirty as the M rated fanfictions she just LOVES to write. -.- We also had five more kittens. In all now, we have nineteen members. That's how the basic crew started. Well, this is the end of this awfully long entry.
Today was finally the end of a fight Zoro and I were having that had been going on for the past few weeks...Yesterday night and last night we made up. Unfortunately, I went out to go practice my battle strategy and I ended up fire-cannoning myself into a building from the build up. I did defeat my enemy, a band of high-ranking government soldiers though.... I cracked a few ribs in my right side and also fractured my jaw when it hit the bricks... Luckily my crew brought me inside and Kyoya healed me, but I'm still sore. I'll try the same attack tonight, and tomorrow night and every night after that until I learn to control it.
Well, I think the stress is breaking me. I woke up in Kyoya's office, relatively fine, he had healed me. But it's not like I could rest or anything, so I grabbed my two swords and faced the enemy once again. I was so tired, I had gone to bed really late. I went to bed almost at two last night because I couldn't sleep. Plus, in the dd I'm all worn out from practicing. I fought anyway. I didn't fire-cannon myself into the wall again, and I'm better at controlling the power. I still got thrusted back a few feet when I shot it, but once I tried it more I've been able to hold my ground. The impact on me hurts though, and I have bruises on my shoulders from internal wounds. Once I was done I trudged inside and crashed on one of the couches in the living room. Everyone was asking me if I was okay and how did it go and can I have another cookie? (Yes, my children care about me so much that they ask for cookies when it's clear that I'm not doing well. -.-) I was actually so tired and had such a bad headache that I fell asleep. In the dd. It happens rarely when I have a dream and I'm not conscious for it, but it happened last night. I guess there's a lot of stress on me in real life because I had one of those awful dreams where I'm at school and EVERY FUCKING THING GOES WRONG. Seriously. I woke up just now and I was crying. I fucking woke up crying. I thought to myself for a second, "Oh crap, I had another bad day at school." But then I realized it was a dream. That to me is sad, that I couldn't tell the difference. But of course, I can't keep complaining because that's the way it's going to be until I become stronger. To add to my training in the dd, today I'm going down to the targets to practice my archery. Maybe I'll get better aiming skills in the dd or something.
Nothing much new going on. Government's been sending me higher-level people to fight every day and Zoro and I are going through some stuff again... I'm fine, for the most part. I just need to keep fighting and developing new strategies. The more and more I have to get out there and fight, the stronger I get.
Ah, it's been awhile since I could say we're okay. No emotional problems or drama going on with the crew for the most part and that's good. The elders have been sending some trained people to protect them after us, they're getting desperate for soldiers and fighters to take us down. I can wipe out any low-level foot soldiers they send in armies and by navy from the ports in the west side of Energy City. I've killed every bounty hunter, special-attack team, hit man, and general they've thrown at me. So far they've sent out two of those trained officials and I've defeated both of them. It's not very hard for me to adjust to the skill-level of new enemies. It was a challenge at first, but now it's pretty easy. The elders will soon start to wonder who to send out to take us down, so I'm curious to what their next move will be. It turns out the stuff Zoro and I were fighting about was the work of two bounty hunters we had previously encountered, Alfonso and Moon. Alfonso is a hypnotist-pervert with tentacle arms and extremely long brown hair he doesn't wash very often. Moon is an inumimi-shapeshifter with blueish white hair who's always kinda had a thing for Zoro. They fought dirty and played a trick on my crew, but I took them out properly this time. I'm excited, tonight should be interesting with the new skilled individuals they'll send out for me to fight.
It's 9:18pm, but more happened today. I got a letter from my sponsor, Opal, to meet me in her district in The Capitol. I had a panic attack because I was unsure of who the letter was from and what it was for. I didn't read it very closely because I was so scared, but now I know why because I've calmed down. I'm okay now, and tonight I shall venture to The Capitol with Zoro and Kyoya to meet our sponsor for a meeting. As for war status, the elders sent another official out to fight me and it was quite a challenge. The man they sent had invisibility powers, and so did his soldiers. I took care of them all, but I nearly died from blood loss. But again, I am okay. I will train much harder now and strengthen my senses. We will not loose this war, it is one of the only things I have to live for.
6:35pm Everything's going fine for now. Last night we were attacked by the Other Mother, I chased her off, naturally. Kyoya got captured by a gang while we were all hurt and some sick from fever due to bad injuries. I got him back, though. We're all okay.
6:44pm Okay, scratch that "everyone" is okay part. I got captured by that gang who stole Kyoya, it turns out they're all demons. Now they've got me, chained with ice. I'll break free, but not now. Not while my crew is close. I'll wait 'till they take me out of the city. I don't want to lead them to my crew. But I have no idea what they'll do to me.
Well, I was nearly beaten to death. They hung me on an upside down metal cross and stabbed me with rusty stakes, drove one into my heart, and whipped me. I got away though, when I wanted to. I had my share of wonderful, glorious pain first. I got home and they fixed me up. Zoro and Kyoya were really mad though. They KNEW I could have gotten away, but I stayed. I stayed for the pain. And Zoro started yelling at me again, he was really angry. I tried to leave because I was sick of him, but he yanked my tail so I would stop and I punched him dead in the face for that. The bastard! I'm so sick of them figuring things out. It was better when they thought I was fine.
6:39pm My mom is going to put my other cat down. We had to put his sister down too, last year. He has liver disease and he's not eating. Now I'll only have one cat, a kitten. She's half-grown and she's been around other cats all her life. And now, she's going to be lonely.
8:03pm Well hello lake of depression, nice to see you again.
We might be able to cure the cat... I'm out of the lake, and I faced Zoro. We're okay now. Been fighting off the clock all day. They fired the flare which means surrender, so we have the rest of the night off while they collect more fighters. So far my book with the battle plans in it is quite elaborate. I hope to add a lot of stuff to it.
8:44pm Thank you, thunderstorm. A cat's hearing is very sensitive, and now my head hurts like crazy. t-.-t Stupid thunder. And now I'm clinging to Zoro like somebody just walked in and is trying to take me to be hung because of course, cats are scared of thunder too.
5:37pm I went out to fight some water elementals that were using snow and ice half an hour ago, and I killed them, but I was iced to the ground by tight ice. Purrggh and Koke tried to come help but they're just kids and now they're numb.
5:56pm I got home and Kyoya is caring for Koke and Purrggh. I'm going to go shove my ice-coated fist into Zoro's face for sending our girls out to help. He didn't even know what kind of fight it was. And now I'm going to go beat some fatherly instinct into the bastard.
I don't think Zoro loves me anymore... He must be so sick of me being depressed and being sad. I don't even know what to do anymore. He probably hates me but he's still there because of the kids. I don't know... I wish I did, but I also don't want to know the awful truth.
Well guys, Noemi has big decisions to make, big decisions indeed.
Last night was pretty bad.
6:16pm Zoro misses Kuina. His first love, the girl who died young and the girl he made a promise too. I heard him say he misses her, that I'm like his new Kuina in a way. I hate her, I hate her so much. It's so obvious that he's falling back in love with her. She's only dead in the anime, but in the dd she could be alive. Alive for him to love again. Maybe I was right, maybe I'm just a stepping stone for him to use to get across the river to his beautiful goddess Kuina.
6:33 Well, it's possible. Possible to be so depressed even the lake won't take you and pain won't work.
Got Lillian, her new name is Nao.
3:24pm Everything right now is in a state of peace. No fighting going on, everyone is getting along. How long it will last, I don't know.
I can say it was a pretty casual night for Indigo Fire. We fought the other mother and a few armies. Now I have enough people in the Pyro for them to start fighting. I might form yet another army, not sure.
Lotus got pissed that I took Nao away from her and she's been sending people and experiments loyal ONLY to her. Although, I did get a few onto my side who were weak in their loyalty. She's been taunting me and trying to break me, but it hasn't been working. I now have two armies under my control and I decided to form a new one for sneak attacks called the Rise. I'm on a new mission with my closest crew members and few of my army to find my other two sisters. It's me, Nao, Zoro, Kyoya, Robin, Nami, Kanasha, Kato, Ace, and Sanji. It turns out Lotus numbered her experiments AND her daughters. I'm number 29012 and Nao is 49076. I don't know what I'll find or what I'll come across, but I know I can face it.
3:47pm The Other Mother had my older sister in her own domain. We met my aunt Maia who said she had captured Natsu before and that she had only been there for one night. We went through the portal to the world of button eyes. We're taking my sister back, I don't care how scary the Other Mother is. It's a test from Lotus, she knows I'm scared shitless of claymation and Coraline... But she's dead fuckin' wrong if she thinks I'll back down from a hunk of clay.
4:44pm I might have a star arrow and I'm gonna kill The Other Mother with it.
6:34pm Killed The Other Mother.
7:08pm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76WJJ57YoG0 For all my old friends, a few of Lotus's experiments. I remember a few of them. ;( But I'm not gonna loose any fights, I'll win.
So last night my team and I killed The Other Mother, and we had injuries. I had the worst ones, but Kyoya like he always does brought me back. We were really tired so we decided to come back to Energy City for rest and get Nishi tonight. She's probably with our dad (Shanks) or our grandmother Mei in Foosha Village (She's somewhere in One Piece.)
7:05pm Got Nishi. Giant hellhound just crashed through the window and it has a few of my children in it's jaws.
7:54pm Everything's fine. Kyoya healed them and I killed the hellhounds.
We established teams on my crew and it's a good schedule to keep so we can get a lot done. So far, it works great.
Lotus invited me to meet her in the Infinity to make a deal with me last night. I was walking around town when the letter came and it told me not to bring anyone so I went alone. I met her and her idea of a deal was to give me what I most desired so I would stop fighting. I told her no and I got out of there. The good news is that she knows my sisters and I can defeat her by word of the prophecy. Now I just have to train them in fighting so they're strong, especially in their elemental powers. Natsu is a fire elemental, a were, and she has basic light powers as well as a fire sword. Nishi is a were, an angel, and knows how to use daggers and knives. Nao is an angel, a shadow elemental and I'm teaching her to use guns. Once we're strong enough, we'll be able to defeat our mother.
5:34pm I have to guide two spirits home in the spirit world... And they promise to give me something if I can do it... Well, I guess I'm doing some spirit guiding...
Got a new crew member, Franky from the Straw Hat pirates. I think he would be a good match for Nao...
We set up a date with Franky and Nao last night and it went really well! We also got Nishi and Sanji together. I got a new power, stars, from a few spirits I met. I'm going to practice a LOT with stars, I can fuse them with my other powers and I can probably make some sick-nasty weapons too. >:3
8:35pm Purrggh got captured by a bunch of rapists and they raped her. I killed off the whole corporation and I rescued her and the other girls. Thank you Semmirra for the road block.
Having a depressing day kind of. Everything bad that happened yesterday is still sinking in.
Been fighting all day. No sleep. Gotta get stronger. My mind is haunted by depressing and dark shit too, I don't want to remember what happened and I don't want to see my future.
I'm torn up today... It's Zoro's birthday but we had to put my cat down after all... He was suffering... I guess he can go be with his sister, Edwina now... I'll miss them both... They've been with our family for longer then I've been alive. I just... I can't believe both of them are gone...
Sometimes I really wonder if it's worth it.
Twisted My Little Pony experiments courtesy of Lotus. Two can play at the mind game, Lotus. Hope you know that.
Today we end this war. I'm ready. I'm also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AZuHkXm7_Q
4:41pm Okaaay... Maybe NOT today. But soon.
Kyoya's going to blow a fuse..... Nah, more fuses then that. He's gonna be fuckin' PISSED...
9:07pm You know who's in trouble now? Zoro. SO MUCH TROUBLE.
God, what a night... At least it's over is all I can say.
GUESS WHO DIDN'T DIE?! :D Well, I still had another rough night and there are some scores I have to settle with Zoro about something that happened, but I didn't die and I'm healthy again. I knew I wasn't gonna go down THAT easy. It's happened before anyway, what that injection did.
Ugh, what VILE weather it is today... Cold and rainy. XP Well, it matches my mood at least. ... XP Still hate it though. 11-18-14 Well, we've all reached a state of peace once again....
At the Infinity getting my kid back....
7:46pm YOU SICK FUCK LOTUS! WHAT A PSYCHOTIC BITCH YOU ARE! WHO DOES THAT? WHO TRIES TO MAKE A MOTHER THINK SHE SAW HER BABY RIPPED TO SHREDS IN FRONT OF HER?! WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?! THANK GOD IT WAS FUCKING GLAMOR! I'M GONNA GET MY KID AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I REALLY DO KILL HER!
9:11pm Lotus experimented on a NEWBORN. She is just.... God.... I hate her. I got home and the baby is with Kyoya.... We should be good.
One mental breakdown and a depressing night in my room later.... My crew wants to talk about all of the issues concerning this kid Kyoya and I accidentally had together.
Ah, finally! It's all settled. We named the children, finally. The first one is named Chinoha after my sword since they seem to be alike. She is a girl and a neko were with shadow and fire elemental powers. The second one is the only boy of the litter. He has orange-red hair and he is a fox were so we named him Kitsume which is Japanese for "fox". We also named him this because Zoro's name is Spanish for fox. The fox genes came from Lotus's injection, but he's perfectly healthy so we don't care. The third is a girl who has Lotus's appearance, we named her Tenshi which means angel in Japanese. The fourth is a girl and a shifter. Her two main animals are pony and lion. She mostly shows lion though and she has my indigo hair. She also has one green cat ear and one orange one with an orange, green, and indigo tail. Her name is Niji. The fifth.... She is the one Kyoya is the father of. We both named her Kyoko. She had previously been taken and experimented on by Lotus. She has advanced healing and shadow powers. Often she cries and is unsettled, and she gets nightmares. We worry about what happened to her while she was with Lotus... Hopefully we can help her.
Ugh, Lotus attacked us again. Kyoya and Saki are healing me... I'm surprised. She finally admit to being a healer.
God, the amount of blood on the floor after that fight... Must have taken my crew a fuck of a long time to clean it all up. I'm okay but I think I'm coming down with a sickness or something in dd... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wA5NmQESx8 I don't feel well. It might have had to do with the battle with Lotus, but I'm just not sure. I hope not.
With me now are L, Light, and Ryuk from Death Note. I'm not sure if they are on my crew now... I sure hope so.
2:56pm Although, I am not sure if they are shifters or not. L and Light are enemies in the anime and manga. I will have to look deeper into this.
2:59pm If they are friends and indeed themselves, it might be the time when Light has no memory of the Death Note or wanting to kill L. Maybe they'll stay friends and I'll be able to keep them on my crew?
4:31pm Okay. They're friends (Thank you Drey for the explanation). Now for the other serious shit. I really tried but I cut myself again. I've just been having depressing-as-shit days and shit's just been going wrong as always, but it's really seeping in. I'm really seeing what this is gonna be. I only have one name I'd put in that Death Note. Maybe shit would be better if I did. Just a simple heart attack... Or a brutal accident. But I get the feeling even if I put the name down, I wouldn't feel better. Whatever.
Well, we talked it out. Now we're working on the case with Akira's father. I knew it would happen since I wrote her story before I became a conscious. Basically we're taking down an intelligence group who murdered her mother and passed one of their men off as her father. Her real dad is being held hostage. Me and Team Lunar (from The Umbra) are out on a rescue mission because Akira ended up in the hospital... There was a fight, basically.
Sad anime pasts.... I hate them.....
9:04pm I HATE KUINA
My crew and I are doing Thanksgiving this year... I find it ironic because most of them aren't even American. Eh, we'll make it multicultural.
Well, that was one hell of a holiday. Sanji and I cooked up a storm and everyone loved it. It's great to see your crew happy. After we put the kids to bed all the older members of my crew went out to see Mockingjay Part 1. We came home kinda early so we started playing dance video games and stuff along that line until we all got tired and went to bed. We had a little bit of an attack coming back from the movies but that was about it, luckily.
3:12pm I couldn't sleep. Training in dd.
I went through a box of old things from my experiment days. It's not much, but it's something. I couldn't bring myself to look at it before, since it's sad. But when Lotus used to test me out sometimes she sent me to fight people and stuff but while I was out there I stole stuff I wanted like food and maybe a toy. My sisters were never brave enough to steal, but I kept a few things from when Aunt Maia rescued me. I'm surprised it wasn't gone... They probably let Nishi play with after I died.
I'm sick of saying I'm sick of it. My nerves are shot. I'm about fucking done with this. I'm overcooked, burned out, at the brink. I'm not sleeping right and I have to be awake in dd a lot to fight Lotus. I look like a fuckin' zombie. For once, I really do think I'm about fuckin' done.
So now I know a little more about Izzamer and a little more about a new problem. And now I'm royally freaked out and nobody can help me. Well, they don't call me the insane leader for nothing.
8:26 Well, now we got a plan. That's new hope right there.
It was a great night except at the end when coldhearted doctor told us we all needed vaccines for the wonderful diseases that we could catch and that didn't go very well. Otherwise it was great.
3:44pm Back to square one on the Izzamer case. Whatever bullshit I heard yesterday isn't even close to true. We're gonna try to find him, but he might be dead. Indigo Fire is sailing into uncharted waters here, nobody knows where the hell he went. We'll search around and I hope we find him and I hope he's friendly.
Izzamer is on our side but all of us are severely injured. Lotus was keeping him in the infinity to use him. Kyoya isn't with us and we're deserted somewhere in the Capitol, I have confirmed. Probably Garnet. Well, I'll call the helicopter and the hovercraft and we'll be home soon.
8:35pm We got home. We're all safe. Kyoya is healing us.
Massive headache. One of my school friends moved away today to start things off and I didn't even get to say goodbye. She was the only one who sat with me at lunch last year... And I just wasted two hours of my precious life and half of one of those hours was spent outside the school on the playground in the cold on wet wood chips. Now my feet are soaked to the bone and I'm still cold. I had a headache before, then I decided to sit in with my brother in the gym where they were having the practice for the holiday concert. Now I have a migraine and I still have to do math homework. And this is ALL my mom's fault. Just great. Damn Lotus showed up last night and I went satanic on her. Now I know those memory needles don't work too much on me anymore. Then we went to buy Sanji some new oven mitts since his other ones caught on fire... Don't ask. And while we were coming back a bunch of drunk dudes were walking near us and one of them chucked an unopened bottle of beer at me and I took it to the side of the head. (Akira shot them down) I was out cold. Just great. So Kyoya had to remove little shards of glass from my face when we got home. Plus, that whole thing brought back some nasty memories. I just have an unlucky life.
7:47pm The crew wants to go to a rave... Sure. But I'm setting rules. I don't want to find them passed out on the floor or high or anything like that. This is gonna be interesting...
The rave was pretty fun and everything went well for the most part. A few hours before we went Izzamer found out Nao had a boyfriend and he and Franky went for a little walk together... Nao was so worried Izzamer wouldn't approve but they both came back laughing and they're good. I'm glad. Now I fell like the oldest again...
5:13pm Kuina. Makino. In my house. Trying to hold back from hurting anything... Nope. Gotta leave. Gotta kill something.
9:08pm Kuina isn't a problem anymore. We uh, talked about it. The real problem is gonna be Makino. Kuina is going back to through the portal but Makino wants to stay with my father, Shanks. At least, that's what Kuina told me. She had been looking for him for a long time and got injured in the process. But my worry senses aren't done tingling yet. Something else is wrong and it has to do with Makino being with Shanks. I know she's there because she loves him, but I don't want a new mother, you see. I know I should want Shanks to be happy, but I don't like it all.
9:34pm Makino is pregnant and Shanks is the father. I should be happy for them, for my father, since he'll be over Lotus. But I'm not. This is just what I feared the most.
So many problems to deal with.... I can't really ask my crew for help since most of them don't see anything wrong with Makino. The most I can do is talk to my father. But that's it.
So Shanks and I "talked" and by talked I mean we started out talking and then that escalated into screaming and then that escalated into a physical fight and screaming and then it was just screaming and then we both passed out. That witch Makino was watching all horrified and so was the rest of my crew... Nishi fainted... (Sanji caught her though, which was good... We didn't need more injuries) I guess she couldn't believe we were actually fighting. I was fair to the one-armed bastard and I didn't use any fire on him. In return he didn't use a gun on me. Whatever... It's just gonna turn into us ignoring each other for a little while with a passing of glares maybe.
10:35pm I'm just leaving everyone to mourn. So Lotus and I were doing our usual, beating each other up, and insulting each other. It was live on the news, like usual. Makino is a little stupid... She went strutting down the street and walked right up to the western port and-get this-wanted to stop Lotus from being an abusive mother and wanted us to talk things out. She don't really know what it's like so she's like, blind, to the horror. And I quickly knocked Lotus out. This really freaked her out so she started having the baby early and she had to be taken home. A few of my crew members told me I shouldn't have freaked her out and walked on home but a good number of them stayed behind and we all went to the dance club. When we came back, I saw Makino had two, twins. One girl and one boy. The girl was smaller and weaker though, probably from being born early and she died when I was standing over her from heart failure. Makino was all high on painkillers and stricken with grief so she blamed ME for it dying... She took Kyoya's crowbar and bashed me in the face with it and screamed at me, "YOU KILLED IT! YOU KILLED IT YOU RENEGADE!" Things like that. I was seein' stars at that point and I just passed out. When I woke up, I was sitting on the couch and Zoro had his arm around me, holding ice to my cheek. I was still really dizzy when my dad walked in from outside with dirt on his hands. The whole place reeked of death, being I have heightened senses. It's a good thing he buried it... Makino would have more grief if she saw it... He named her Suuito which means "sweet" in Japanese... I feel bad and I can't really hate Makino anymore. I've been lucky to never have lost a kid but I do know the feeling slightly... So anyway Shanks tried to talk to me and I said, "Well I think I used to know someone who looked like you before but I sure don't know who you are strange red-haired man in front of me." What did he expect me to do? Forgive him then and there? His crazy girlfriend beat my face in with a crowbar and he treated me awful for the past three days. He took his leave and went to go see Makino and my new half brother who has the family's wavy red hair and Makino's green eyes and my father's smile. I find him adorable. Shanks named him Nobu which means "faith" in Japanese. He's stronger then Suuito was, so he won't die. The scent of death is sickening... I guess I should be used to it but it's awful... And that club food earlier was not agreeing with me so yeah... I went out to clear my head and started fighting more attacks on the Eastern Lake and a sniper mission in the northern part of the city. I came back about half an hour ago and I climbed through the bedroom window. I'm just listening to my music in the corner of the room and I sort of fell asleep. I really look like a mess today. I don't have any wounds but I have a lot of bruises that I don't even want to bother asking Kyoya to heal. I'm gonna keep my distance for now.
Not gonna be on this morning and I might be late for the afternoon... My mom's dragging me out to some thing I don't really wanna do but whatever... Kept my distance in dd like I said. Shanks and Makino haven't come out of Kyoya's office since last night and Kyoya said they were both asleep which is good. The rest of the crew just took showers and went to sleep. That's good since we all needed the rest. Hopefully my gravity hammer took care of the old witch for a little while... The last thing I need is Lotus walking in when my crew is finally getting a little sleep. Plus, she'll smell the death and that won't be good. She might try to pull something and the last thing we all need is her fucking things up more then they already are.
1:46pm So I met Dallas, Drake's brother. Lotus drugged up my new crew member TJ when he came to join us and I happened to walk into him. He raped me after blocking my nerves so I couldn't move and then Lotus shows up in the middle of it laughing; and I could tell he was unconscious to it because he had this little needle in his neck and his eyes were fogged over. I was screaming and screaming but nobody came for so long until Dallas pushed TJ off and asked me if I knew his brother. Lotus broke his arm but I got my chi back and knocked her out. At this point Kyoya, Zoro, Akira, and Opal (my sponsor) showed up and Kyoya healed Dallas and sent him in the right direction. Lotus woke up again and Zoro beat the crap out of her and threw her into the sea. TJ woke up then too, out of the drugs and he threw up this weird blue stuff. When he realized what he did he was on his knees telling me how sorry he was and Akira and Opal were talking to me too. But I just couldn't take it... I faded into the spirit world and nobody followed me which is good. I don't want to face them right now. I'm shaking and I was so scared... I'm not pregnant which is good but I'm so shaken up...
3:47pm 44 crew members. Lord help me...
4:39pm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mtnh7z5bEGs Found a new song to listen to on the roof while my crew thinks I'm taking a walk. I can sit shaking with my legs drawn to my chest and think crazy thoughts and listen to music up here and nobody knows. I'd never actually jump off the roof but sometimes I think about it... It's sort of like my way of calming my nerves.
8:27pm And life just keeps getting worse...
9:46pm Oh boy... That was just... *sigh* At least it's over...
7:31pm Ugh... Problems, problems... This is how the shit went down: I wake up in dd at like, 6:11pm (today) to my worry senses going crazy and I shove a snoring moss head off of me. I pick up a strong scent of Lotus and I tracked her to the grave where Shanks buried Suuito. I had a feeling this would happen. Of course, the hole was dug up and the coffin and the lid lay haphazardly thrown on the ground next to it. Death scent caught my nose instantly, mingled with Lotus. She had gone back to the Infinity with the baby. Obviously she wanted to resurrect it and turn it into a monster. She's trying to pull another Lillian so she can mess with Shanks. I went in there claws and teeth, being my weapons got left home. (Zoro took my swords to polish them and my gravity hammer is charging, plus I didn't take any guns or anything with me) I beat the fuck out of Lotus, it was an M&M eye cramming- feather snorting-energy drink can throat ramming type of fight. I used some of Ryule's methods. I mean, who wouldn't? Suuito's my sister! After I got Lotus knocked out I realized how royally fucked up Suuito was. Lotus had brought her back and strengthened her up, but also like, really messed her up. I don't even want to go into detail about what she LOOKED like, let alone her brain-wiring. So I grab her and get the fuck out of there. Another job for the exorcists and Kyoya. When I get home I have to tranquilize Makino because she was trying to look at the baby but hell, I wasn't gonna let her see the kid like this. Plus she was all grief-stricken again. Nishi and a few of the kids started crying and Fawn threw up and Ace fell asleep. Where was Kyoya in all of this? Out getting his fucking coffee. So I wasn't gonna let anyone else see the baby who couldn't take it. All of the freaked out people I put Zoro in charge of. By this time Kyoya came back and the exorcists arrived shortly after. We got our little spirit-circle going and I started doing it just like I did with Nao. It's so draining on the energy though and my heart was really hurting... Damn stake... Anyway I did what I could. I let a few things stay because they will do nothing to harm her and hell, I was about to pass out and then I would end up failing. I'll have to analyze her powers further though, I can't remember any of the ones I let her keep. So after I completed fixing what Lotus did, she was fine. Then my eyes rolled the back of my head and I fell back (Yukio caught me) from exhaustion. Successful mission. I woke up here, but I'm sure I'm okay in dd.
Forty-seven crew members. Reenee's brother showed up, his name's Regan. He used to be on a crew but it got destroyed so he came looking for his sister and found us. He claims to be a really bad technician... I apprenticed him to Josh, so now Indigo Fire has two technicians, four healers/doctors, nineteen children, a cook, two musicans (we count Akira as a musician with Brook), a shipwright and carpenter, and the list goes on... I'm gonna have to rework the teams...
8:27pm Not gonna do it... Not gonna do it...
Makino and I still haven't talked. I'm going to wait for her.
We talked. It's mostly settled now but I will never accept her fully. Just ain't gonna happen.
Last night it was normal except a little tussle I had with Zoro. We made up though, it was a tiny mistake. But that ain't important... Akira's missing. Kyoya said they went to bed and when he woke up just now she was gone. There's cigar ash and a broken chain on the ground.... As well as a dropped hat, some spattered blood, and dirty footprints on the floor. I took one smell and I can tell some bad people got a hold of her. Now we gotta find her. I'm gonna kill whoever the fuck this was.
Well.... I took care of it. Akira was in real bad shape when I found her. She took a bath and stuff and then locked herself in her bedroom. Luckily she promised not to cut herself which is good, and it just sounded like she played her guitar for a bit and then went to sleep. Zoro and Josh got us a gigantic Christmas tree and tonight we're going to help the kids decorate it. Hopefully Lotus'll stay away, I think she will after what I did last night when I found out she helped to hurt Akira.
Too... Many... Crew members.... Got another one, Sizzle Starry. He's a sweet one, at least... Half pony and half eagle. Umbra has a major crush on him already. (He was one of Lotus's experiments) He's a lightning elemental and a star mage.
That had to be the damn best evil laugh I've ever uttered. I'll top it though, I know THAT for sure.
8:46pm Oh my fucking God. I think I killed Zoro. He tried to stop me when I was using two final forms on Lotus and his laying down in Kyoya's office on a cot next to me and his heart is barely beating and his eyes are lifeless and I FUCKING KILLED HIM! I KILLED ZORO! MY GOD HE'S GOING TO DIE!
OKAY NEVER MIND WE BOTH ALMOST DIED BUT WE'RE OKAY NOW! THANK GOD FOR THE LIGHTNING POWERS!
Normal night so far, mostly. But I'm not feeling well. My worry senses are also dully bothering me which means something bad is going happen but not for awhile... I don't know... Today hasn't been a good day, but it hasn't been wickedly terrible either. That's rare for a Monday.
Last night was okay I guess...
8:01pm If I surivive I'll see you all tomorrow
Lateralus by Tool...
I never knew the meaning.... Until now, I think.
♬ Black then white are all I see, in my infancy. ♩
♬ Red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me, lets me see. ♭
♫ As below, so above and beyond, I imagine. Drawn beyond the lines of reason....
I'm with the crew again and Kyoya healed me but I may be leaving the wiki soon for a little.There's an arising issue ahead with me and I might loose my internet access. Anyway, my crew is okay so that's all that matters with me. They've been fighting hard while I was out.
Kyoya won't let me leave home to kick ass.... It's pissing me off. I guess he expects some sort of information from me or something.... I told him what Lotus did, but I guess he figured out something else is wrong.
7:36pm I've been home for three days now. The first day I didn't eat anything and the second day I only had dinner. Today I had breakfast.... Both made by Sanji and given to me by Zoro or Kyoya. They've given me two meals with pills or medicine or whatever drugs inside. I forgot my problems and I was calm... Hell, I was basically a zombie. They were given the drugs by that last therapist. AND ZORO PROMISED ME HE WOULDN'T DO THIS! I must really seem crazy to them or something. That, or they think different drugs will work. I didn't get any allergic reaction like last time, but I'll end up getting addicted to those stupid pills. Plus I get super depressed every time they wear off. They better be prepared. I'm gonna get back at those god damned liars and it ain't gonna be pretty.
I won't be on between 3:00pm and 6:00pm today I think... My mom is having one of her friends over today, and I'm stuck dealing with the kids. Yay for me. (The kids are around my age and there's only two of them, but hell, I don't want to have to entertain them.) Whatever, at least it means I have an excuse not to wake the fuck up in the dream dimension and lead. I think I'd rather stay right where I am here in the Lake. Yeah, this is nice. I don't exactly want to go back to my crew after last night. All I'm gonna get are Zoro and Kyoya sucking up to me and telling me how sorry they are and honestly I couldn't give a shit. I suspected they would try this bullshit again... Whatever. I'll make sure Lotus doesn't kill any of 'em. That's all they care about anyway.
1:59pm Damn... Lotus is being a pain in the ass today... (More of a pain in the ass then usual) More water elementals.... I was already cold and wet from the Lake.
3:02pm I hope this stinkin' three hours will go fast. Its three hours of my life wasted! I could be battle planning or drawing or watching anime... But NO. I just have to fucking do THIS. Plus I'm back in the Lake. Those bastards better not come here and haul me off. But knowing Kyoya, he'll think of it sometime around.
♭ Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind....
Withering my intuition leaving all these opportunities behind
Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line
Reaching out to embrace the random,
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.... ♫
12-22-14Damn that Lotus... So I was sitting in the closet minding my own business.... I went home yesterday because I was forced by someone. (I'm not gonna say who) They saw me and they were all like, crying.... And I felt really bad because while I was out in the Lake I did some stuff I shouldn't have. I locked myself in the bedroom closet since it was just too much for me... Then Lotus color-drugged me again and nearly killed almost my whole crew. Luckily I got Kyoya awake and while he was healing everybody I snuck into one of the other closets and they didn't find me until Lotus sniffed me out and dragged me out. Then she drugged me again and bashed my ribs in with Kyoya's crowbar. Well, fuck. I had to face them sometime I suppose.
8:56pm So I looked at my reflection in the screen of my phone.... My hair's all limp and it's gone from indigo-purple to faded lavender. My eyes are just deep pools of nothingness and I feel so weak... I'm gonna get some poison and that should make things better but it's a little scary how I look and feel like now... I can't wait until Lotus is dead.
Since I was out I couldn't get any poison.... After Kyoya healed me I snuck out because Lotus was attacking again.... I got rid of her but I got launched by the last bomb hitting the ground and I'm pretty far away.... It's this barren place which looks like miles of fields and roads..... I'm running on low energy.... Every time I have an energy drink I can run in my cheetah form for a little, but when it wears off I get weaker then how I started out. I'm having trouble breathing too which means I'm putting on a strain on my heart and lungs. I hope Energy City's close..... And I hope I can stay alive until I get there.
3:01pm I got home.... And I made quite and entrance when I did.
16:34pm One more day.... One more day of dealing with her bullshit. Then we finally get to take action.... When she's dead I wonder how crazy I'll be...
Chopper's birthday and planning day. It's gonna be awfully busy.... Sanji and I are going to make everyone Christmas cookies and we're also going to make Chopper a cake. After that I'll have to make my way down to the military to see how they're getting along with the plans... So far the safe where we'll put the weapons is done. Me, Josh, Franky, and Light designed it. It will be located under the Lake. (The Lake is only depressing when someone who goes there is, otherwise it's a regular lake) There will be a trap door on the shore of the Lake that leads to a tunnel going to the safe where the powers will be stored. If, for some reason this isn't suitable, we can always turn it into something else. So it doesn't have to be official. The technicians and weapon-makers in my armies also made 200 weapons and boxes sturdy enough to hold the powers. There will probably be extras since we made so many, and we have 100 emergency ones waiting just in case the 200 isn't enough. Specific details should be discussed on chat.
8:50pm Today my father finally wrote out the birth certificates for Nobu and Suuito... But Makino decided to make Suuito her middle name and Nagisa her first name. I guess she didn't want to remember what happened to Nagisa before. I don't blame her. All of my sisters and I changed our names after Lotus hurt us. We'll probably just call her Naga as a nickname though... or Nagi. It's cute. It means "shore" or "lull' or "beach" in Japanese.
Well it's Christmas.... My crew and I are probably gonna end up being awakened by the children very early. But then again, most of us end up getting up early anyway.... A lot of us take naps during the day (especially the moss head). It'll be funny to see what we got each other.... I'm pretty sure my sisters and I all got each other catnip. But there is a way to avoid it.... I just have to give them my present first. >:3
10:04pm Exp. 29012UF: 29=Day of creation 01=Year of creation 12=Number UF= Ultimate Failure
Bad shit's coming, I've seen it now with my own eyes.
2:40pm No. I refuse to believe what I just saw.
3:21pm I AM SICK TO DEATH OF LOTUS, NO, I'M SICK TO HELL OF HER. EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN FUCKING DAY SHE MAKES IT WORSE AND NOW IS JUST CROSSING THE FUCKING LINE. BE GLAD I DIDN'T MURDER HER ASS YET, BUT DON'T THINK I'M GONNA WAIT FOREVER. IF SHE PULLS ONE MORE STUNT LIKE THIS I'M GONNA KILL HER SO HARD SHE WON'T EVEN REMEMBER TO DIE.
8:50pm Lotus is dead, it's over. But... I don't feel happy. I'm pleased to finally be free.... But as I walk the empty halls of the Infinity, (I killed the experiments who couldn't survive or wanted to die or who were still loyal.... The humans or the good ones who would be okay had go to the military....) I still feel sickened...I feel grief for my son... Zoro named him Tree and buried him in the forest under the big oak... I still have three boys left... They're healthy and strong, I know they'll be okay. But I'll never forget Tree. He will always be my son in my heart, even if he didn't live very long. I'm going to take a few things from this awful place that could be useful... But then I'll use my new shadow powers to destroy it all. No more Lotus, so no more Infinity. Then I'll probably go home... But it won't be how I thought. Not at all. I may have laughed like that and shook the ground, but I don't feel happy like that anymore. Welcome to the New World everyone, let's see what we can do.
9:31pm It's been exactly four months since I became a conscious. Now Lotus is dead and the Infinity is up in my indigo flames..... I have a few things I took from that awful place but that's it. All the powers except the shadow are stored away... They'll be ready for the other new world leaders.
12-27-14We named the kids. Turned out I heard wrong, there was one girl. The last baby has green-yellow hair with Zoro's hazel eyes. He's human as well and has Zoro's build. He's also tan and not pale like me. Zoro named him Leif since he and Tree would have looked alike if Tree had had normal genetics. The fourth one was the girl; I named her Indigo, Indie for short. She has dark indigo hair like me with one indigo eye and one amber eye. She's pretty pale too so she almost looks like me. Indigo is also half human and half neko, meaning she just has a tail and no ears. She is not a were. The first one I named Erin (after Aaron of course), he has my father's red hair with some blondeish streaks. He's really cute and the only neko of the group. Erin's also a were and God, he has the most adorable little meow. <3 I love all of them. I won't be on much today since I'm with my dad but I'll be back tomorrow. That is all.
1:28pm If I hear "Long live the new shadow queen" or have a herd of reporters come up and question me again I'm gonna drop dead. I just want the public to leave me alone... I'm going to mourn my son for a little while and I need time to think about what I've done and let everything sink in. I feel sick seeing what's happening in the city... People are rioting, going crazy. I know they've got their freedom but calm the fuck down already! They're throwing hate parties and gatherings about Lotus and the government, getting drunk in the streets. I hope this doesn't last long... I know they're happy to be free but they don't have to be
violent. It's all twisted to me. I know I can't be alone forever but I want a little space from the people for awhile...
This is bad.... Very bad. I suspected Lotus of pulling something like this.... Damn her. She's a pain in my ass even when she's dead.
Tingling... Tingling.... The worry senses are tingling... Tree got resurrected by a monster made by Lotus before she died and we had to get Nadeen's help to fix him. But my senses further tingle.... There is something else wrong. He sees something we all don't and I need to figure out what it is. I did the Lotus stare on him and he didn't blink. He just reached out to feel the air around me. Maybe he sees auras? I don't know but I'm getting to the bottom of this.
He sees auras, definitely... But I think he has some bad memories that he got from limbo or from that thing Lotus created.... Either way I hope he'll be okay. It's pretty cute, Tree and Leif are like twins even though there were four kittens in the litter. They always roll close to each other when they're sleeping and they stay close most of the time.... This is aside from the fact that they are identical. Now that Tree has normal genetics, it is clear that he and Leif look alike. But it's quite easy to tell them apart.... Leif has a very different personality from Tree, I can tell by the way they act. Tree is a little thinner then Leif but that's because he hasn't had enough to eat. If we feed him more he'll be strong. We can always part their hair different ways like Hikaru and Kaoru if it gets too hard to tell them apart for other people. Another cute thing I noticed on both of them were tiny little tiger ears and tails.... (Although my main two feline animals are the lion and cat, Zoro was born in the year of the tiger so sometimes he can turn into one.. The rules are weird for that one. But I guess whatever it is he passed it on to Tree and Leif) I didn't notice at first because I haven't got to see them much and their hair is kind fluffy.... But Zoro and Kyoya want me to stay home more so I'll be able to see the children more now. I should be a better mother now that the war is over.... I've been awfully selfish leaving the building and going to wander around town sulking in my problems. I have to step it up now... My life isn't mine anymore. I have a lot of people depending on me, and I can't let them down.
1:05pm I'm going to spend a night wandering the kingdom.... The forests, the towns, everything... I
have to stay with everyone during the day but at night I can do what I want. It will just be me and the darkness, and the darkness doesn't care who I am or what I do or what I look like or what I think. It is just there and it's quiet and calm and it doesn't hurt my eyes and burn my skin like the light of day will do.
3:14pm Natsu, Noemi, Nishi, Nao, Nagisa, Nobu, and now Narikuro... Seven... This interests me....
4:13pm So I have a brother now... Narikuro... His name means "dark clarity" in Japanese. I call him Kuro or Raven. He's a full brother too... (Please, don't ask how Lotus did it. She was ready for anything.) And he's the only one. So I don't have to worry about any other siblings... He's part raven and he's a shadow eternal. He's also really emo, but I don't blame him... He had a rough-ass life hiding away like he did, and he still managed to get an education, even in highschool.
We made Fawn, Reenee, and Nami take the kids clothes shopping for the new year and I sent the detectives and Luffy (along with some other fighters) to search for things Lotus left behind. I also had Robin show Kuro around the city so they can get to know each other better... *playing matchmaker with her own brother and one of her best friends* This way, Sanji and I can cook New Year's dinner and desert in peace and Kuro can get himself started on a girlfriend (and we don't have to feel bad when we're watching a movie or something and Robin doesn't have anyone to be close to. I think they like each other already, I saw her blush when I asked her to show him around and Kuro got red as a tomato when she held his hand.) They're around the same age too. Kuro's older then I thought he was.... Lotus did aging spells on him and stuff and he told me he was 28. (He was in pretty bad shape when we found him so it was hard to tell. He looks young.) Robin's 29 I think so they're good. Let the matchmaking....COMMENCE!
6:22pm Stupid fucking Shanks... What does he care if I die? He can take his damn willpower and jump into a god damn fire for all I care. I had an energy drink and collapsed, so what? I'd only have died of a heart attack if I had had two instead of one. I'm just gonna go back to bed and hope that moss head didn't wake up....
Stupid fucking Shanks... The bastard drunk himself into a rage.
6:24pm Shanks will have two metal arms now. Shouldn't have picked a fight with me.
I have bruises all up my right side, on my arm, and on my face now. I've got a few on my left too. They offered him food but he didn't take it. He just sits in the corner of Kyoya's office in the chair with the sea stone handcuffs on in silence. I didn't go in there but that's what Kyoya said.... I made dinner for everyone and after that I just went to bed. Zoro packed it in too around ten and I pretended to be asleep... I gave up trying to sleep... Zoro's too tired to wake up and I don't blame him. He had to explain everything to the kids and keep everything going right within the crew. He knows I won't do anything to myself, and I won't. I've been hurt enough already and it doesn't even work. So I'll just stay sitting up in bed listening to My Chemical Romance until I pass out from exhaustion or morning comes. I can't leave the building but I can still calm myself down a little.... I probably should... My heart is beating too fast and I'm trembling slightly. I gotta get over it somehow... Well.... I do without a mother, how hard can it be without a father?
5:25pm Purrggh got her head stuck in the cookie jar. Kyoya's trying to take it off with butter and soap...
5:26pm We got her head out!
7:55pm It is truly a devastating day for the Kingdom Of Darkness... All of the loyal experiments and people to Lotus had been hiding somewhere within the kingdom and they struck today. Right as I came home my worry senses were tingling and I went through the portal to see what was going on. The loyalists had ordered all of the people to be put to death, "To die along with our queen, Lotus," they said, "her orders before she died." The children would slaughter each other to death on the castle lawn, the women burned at the stake, and the men all guillotined (having their heads severed off). All the executions would take place in different parts of the kingdom, was her plan so I would only be able to save one group at a time. I opened up two more large portals (which took a big energy drain) for my crew to split up and rescue the men and women. I used my lightning cheetah form and ran to the children who had already begun to kill each other. They wouldn't stop until I showed them Lotus's death in Chinoha (since the sword carries the vision of all of it's victims being killed) because they feared she was still alive. After that the children stacked the bodies of their siblings and friends... It was sickening. The two teams rode in on the raven horses with the loyalists in tail and now I'm assessing them.
8:37pm WE FOUND RYULE'S SISTER! OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FOUND HER!
We adopted a boy named Edgar from the Kingdom of Darkness. He was one of the orphans.
5:37pm A few of Lotus's shifter experiments attacked me today while I was alone. One turned into Shanks and grabbed my throat and another one who shifted as Kyoya was choking me with a rope while a Zoro shifter beat me with a two-by-four. They were yelling and screaming such awful things at me too... If Sibrel hadn't texted my crew I think I would have died. Now I'm laying on the bed in me and Zoro's room with nothing covering my chest and Zoro and Edgar are there. I can barely talk and they're telling me to breathe. I feel dead, but apparently I'm alive. At this rate my whole body is gonna be purple from all of these bruises....
After I got the hell choked outta me yesterday Kyoya made me stay home and rest. Edgar talked to me for a bit while Zoro brushed my hair after I woke up. After breakfast though, Zoro went to go help the kids practice their fighting and Edgar went with him. Kyoya forced me to take a nap too and I slept clear through lunch, waking up every fifteen minutes from nightmares. Right before dinner I let them bring the old man in to talk to me and he apologized. It's gonna take a long-ass time for everyone to trust him again but with his sickening willpower I know he can do it. I feel kind of sick... It's understandable since the whole attack yesterday went down under the dock at the western port and I was soaked to the bone with freezing seawater. I hope I didn't catch hypothermia or something... I don't think so. I just feel kind of feverish. If it gets worse I'll go tell the stringbean doctor but for now I think I'm good. Besides, I don't want to wake up Zoro.
2:43pm GOD DAMN IT! THAT IDIOT BROOK GOT OLLIE PREGNANT AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ANYONE UNTIL NOW WHEN SHE'S HAVING THE KID! LUCKILY IT'S ONLY ONE BUT STILL, NEITHER OF THEM ARE FIT TO BE PARENTS
Defeated some One Piece villains... Kyoya made me stay home after that since he said I still needed a bit of time to recover, which I found unneeded.
I'm using Lotus's diary to gain information about her past. In the Kingdom of Darkness there are various emergency laboratories she used. I am her 12th experiment, and I'm trying to find the ones before me. Natsu was her 2nd. To my knowledge, 1, 4, 6, and 7 are dead. We discovered 5 and 10 in small old laboratory yesterday. Number ten is Min the friendly minotaur and number five was Featherwick the spirit-seeing girl. Both EFs, or experiment failures. Lotus cyrogenically froze their bodies in case she needed extra parts sometime. But she forgot about the old lab, EX1. The whole time neither one aged. Min decided to join the night army because we saved him but Featherwick wanted to stay with us. Min was just fine before he was frozen so all he needed was a little food and water and stuff to be fine. But Featherwick wasn't as lucky. She's very sick and before she was frozen, she practically destroyed herself. Lotus apparently made a chemical mistake with her which caused her to go berserk when she came to. After that she nearly tore herself apart with her own nails and ripped out clumps of her hair in her insanity, things like that. The wounds are all infected and Kyoya is doing his best. She's running a very high fever which is dangerous for a 6-year old girl with a very big lack of proper nourishment. (Lotus only feeds experiments the bare minimum to survive, which is obvious.) She's mentally very messed up too. I said we'd assess her tonight and see how she is... But I have a feeling I'll have to do what I did with Nao. She's obviously very haunted by her past.... Lotus kidnapped her from a happy household and brutally murdered her whole family in front of her, including her older brother who she looked up to and her infant sister who she loved very much, as well as her grandmother who was living in the house with the children and their parents. I'm really worried about her... But everyone has a chance. We can fix her, for the most part.
6:45pm I had to do a Nao on her... Kuro helped me since we weren't gonna call the exorcists at an hour like this. Feather's better, so that's all I care about.
8:51pm This is for anyone. I know my problems right now are intense, if you want to leave me you can. I'm keeping people from moving on and I'm making other people's lives worse with them worrying about my shit. I haven't died yet and I don't plan on dying soon. Just go and move on. I'll do my best to make sure Lotus's extra experiments don't hurt anyone. Just go.
Fall Out Boy's new song came out three days ago.... Since me, Akira, Sizzle, Kuro, and T.J. started an emo band a few weeks ago we're gonna learn the song. Well it's an excuse to be away from home and at Kuro's place in the woods... Pure Infinity Insanity is what we call ourselves. *shrug* It's our way of expressing some of our rageful hate to Lotus. Aaron says he'll write some songs for us! Yay!
10:02pm .__________. A fan sent Purrggh and Saki pokemon.... Purrggh got a Lileto (fighting fire-type pokemon) and Saki got a Happiny (healing pokemon).... Well okay then...
So I looked at an old picture on my phone from like, my fourth day being a conscious... It's actually sad. I'm smiling..... I don't look insane.... I don't look sick and depressed.... I wonder if it's really me... I tried to recreate it on the anime character creator... Here's what I got...
I got kinda sick from the aftershock of some drugs so Kyoya's making me stay home. I guess I'll have to find some ways to amuse myself then...
Olivera pulled the trigger.
8:36pm I'm not dead but Kyoya had to cut my hair short on the left side like Natsu's so he could get the bullet out and heal me. Well... I didn't think I was too pretty anyway (though many people disagree). *shrug* It'll grow back. I think I have a scar there too.... Here's updated me:
So much shit happened and it's not even lunchtime.... Dear God...
Crazy night.... Crazy night indeed...
Thank You For The Venom
8:58pm I'll be honest, I tried to tear myself apart yesterday. I'm walking home now... Covered in bruises and gashes and names carved deep into my skin. I know I didn't do it... It's something else. I don't love pain... I don't like it when I wake up like this... I don't like seeing my crew or family cry and I don't like getting screamed at. But something takes over sometimes... And it'll be the death of me if I don't kill it first.
I had to chain myself to the table with sea prism stone handcuffs from One Piece so I wouldn't hurt myself too bad. Yay. Well I got healed at least.
8:22pm Nishi had a nightmare and now she's sobbing and trying to tear her hair out and Sanji's out shopping. The day gets better and better...
Had another attack... Zoro's being so good to me about it... Everyone is. I'm damn sick of Lotus... I wish she would go the fuck away...
6:28pm I'M GONNA BE A PHOENIX!
Last night was pretty nuts. After Aaron helped me get Lotus's voice out of my head, I woke up with a streak of red-orange hair (which Zoro braided). If I really try I can rise like a phoenix and stop Lotus from hurting me, so that's where the streak of red-orange came from. I can't promise I'll be super happy or anything, but I'll be better then before. Anyway, after I woke up I went for a walk. I discovered that some of the Lotus followers have formed cults and are experimenting in secret. I totally snapped. I got everyone together and we burned every secret lab in Energy City, the loyalists with them. Apparently a lot of people were FORCED to be in the cults by strong people who truly believed Lotus was good. So there wasn't as much death as we expected. We also got a new kid, Raccie. She's a raccoon were. Her dad was a Lotus Cult leader and he abandoned her when she wouldn't go along with the idea that Lotus was good. So we took her in and T.J. and Regan adopted her. (They're engaged now.) She's really happy with them which is good and Purrggh already
won her over to the cookie thieves.
I'm pregnant again... Hopefully it's not four or five this time...
7:13pm I'M ON FIAH!
10:04pm You know, I try not to get rageful over small things like when my locker gets closed from people fooling around or Purrggh complaining of a stomachache after 10 cookies even after we told her not to eat them. But heh, you'll have to excuse me this time. Wouldn't anyone else be rageful after finding out their mother used their DNA and a random tomcat's DNA to make a kid with just to mess with their mind after she died? Because that's who Livy is. Half me and half some random cat Lotus picked up. *clap clap clap* Congratulations Lotus, you've managed to piss me off even after weeks of being dead. CONGRATULATIONS! WOULD YOU LIKE A FUCKING GOD DAMNED TROPHY?! NO, YOU'RE PROBABLY FINE WATCHING ME FALL APART FROM THE PLACE YOU'RE IN NOW WHICH IS NOT HELL AND CERTAINLY NOT HEAVEN. WHY DON'T YOU GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING POPCORN?! ENJOY THE GOD DAMNED PICTURE! PLEASE TURN YOUR CELLPHONE OFF AND ENJOY THE FILM!
They're trying to make an R-rated movie about my childhood. I have too many things to worry about, the media doesn't need to get added to the list. I have to sign a shit ton of papers to get the damn thing pulled off the air and killed off.
*sigh* It's more then twins now... There's another baby too but it looks so small and weak... Aaron say's he's gonna live.... It's all I have to hope for. I can't have another baby die... I just can't.... It'll ruin me.
Rescued Lione, my second dad. I'm 1/3 him, 1/3 Shanks, and 1/3 Lotus. (Probably other stuff too, but they're my only parents. I think.) Freaky time finding him in the Opal District.
ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᴷᶦᶫᶫ ᴬᶫᶫ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠʳᶦᵉᶰᵈˢ ᵇʸ ᴹᶜᴿ⋅⋅⋅ ᴹᵒᵈᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᶫʸʳᶦᶜˢ⋅⋅⋅
Well I can hide a lot about myself But what am I gonna do?
And I can sleep in a coffin
But the past ain't through with me
'Cause you are all a bunch of liars
Tell me, who am I gonna be?
And you are all about to sell it
'Cause it's tragic with a capital T
Let it be, let it be, let it be,
'Cause you all wanna party when the funeral ends
And you all get together when you bury your friends
9:00pm I never thought one day could bring so much pain...
Shanks and I sorta made up... I told him I wasn't going to accept Makino as my mother or step-mother or whatever and that I'm not ready to move on yet. Which is true... Things are awful right now. I wish Orange and Teal would hurry it up and bring it on so I can finish this fight for good.
The remaining loyalists seem to be the most twisted and the most like Lotus... There was a newborn baby girl on our doorstep at 9pm last night with a bomb attached. When I picked her up, I realized she was rigged and I grabbed the note that she came with (which had the explosive in it) at the last second. It wasn't a strong bomb, so my hand was fixable. I'm fine... But the baby is blind her left eye and has a scar on her cheek from the explosion. Nobody else was harmed, luckily. We're keeping the baby, I named her Nala. She's a lion were but Kyoya says she's not genetically connected to us. Which is good... I have enough people affected by our crazy family already.
10:08pm EMO MAGIC
Ugh XP. I woke up at 4:45am for some reason and now it's 6:44.... Almost time to endure the similar-to-worse-then-Hell experience of a half-day-because-the-blizzard's-coming. I'm gonna look at this again at 12 and sigh like, "Well at least I can spend tomorrow watching anime all day." It's only four hours... AND YES I GET TO SKIP GYM TOMORROW! :D WOOOOO! Sorry. I was just so bored and I didn't know what else to do. #RandomStupidUnneededLogEntry
9:32pm Kyoya says the babies will be here soon! I'm excited but also nervous at the same time... I've picked a few names... But I won't spill much until they're born!
I can't even begin to count the amount of cute-looking guys that showed up at our door and offered to shovel our snow for free. It was to the point where Zoro, Sanji, (Ace had fallen asleep at the table again), Franky, and Kuro went out there in the middle of breakfast to do it to "show all of those pretty boys who shovels the snow around here." *facepalm* Seriously. What they will do to show off is crazy. Franky built this crazy snow-blower, Zoro threw down his shovel and started packing the snow into huge snowballs which he eventually carried (there were like 20 of them mushed together into this giant snowball) to the ocean and threw it into the middle of the sea as all of the other guys were watching. And Sanji took his snow to the lawn and started to make elaborately detailed snow sculptures of Nishi. Kuro was showing off to Robin by bringing the snow he shoveled into the backyard so the kids could play with it. Just.... Just.... I can't even with them sometimes... -.-
4:45pm 'Cause you are all a bunch of liars
9:33pm Found the gun. I didn't think he'd get rid of it... Sure enough it was buried in the same spot they found me lying dead in the backyard with my head blown open, wrapped in a white cloth with "OLIVERA" written on it in black ink. And just as I thought, the shell from the bullet was still inside. I knew it was there. Well it's my gun now. Shame to get rid of a perfectly good antique pirate gun. And now I've got a necklace with the shell strung on the string. It's twisted, I know. But I'm keeping it anyway.
Today was the day Olivera killed herself.
The old man got married to Makino yesterday. No wedding, just a big party Kuro and I didn't go to. We walked around our kingdom for the whole day basically, doing stuff for our people. Zoro and Robin left us alone... They didn't go either. Nor did Akira and Kyoya. Nao went... Half because Nishi and Natsu made her, and half because she probably doesn't agree with Kuro and I fully. Whatever. I don't see any flying fucks up there I can give Shanks, so too bad. He had Lione and Izzamer there for him anyway. He doesn't need us. Now me and Kuro are just sitting on his bed listening to music. His sleeping schedule is just as bad as mine.
The babies were born today... A few days too early but we're okay. Kyoya fixed me up.
Names and descriptions! The first baby was a boy whom I named Gerard Pickles Mikey Roronoa. :3 Told ya'll I'd do it. (I put his name on the birth certificate while Zoro was turned around washing his hands. >:3) He has mostly bright red hair with a bit of black in the back and hazel eyes. He's also a neko were. At first I thought he was human but then his ears popped up. It was so cute! The second one was a slightly smaller girl with grass-green hair and bright green eyes. She's a human like Zoro but there's just something calixical about her that I can sense. We named her Moriko ("child of the forest" in Japanese) Edwina Roronoa. The fourth was another girl with reddish-pink hair and my amber eyes. She's a phoenix and she has these adorable little red wings! X) <3 She looks so sweet but curious and brave too. We named her Fuaia ("fire") Ember Roronoa. The last one was smaller the rest of the litter, but he's mighty strong at that. We named him Hotaru ("lightning"). He has electric-blue hair and he's a lightning cheetah. He has my eyes too, and the Lotus glare. (We found this out after Zoro went to karate-chop my head after he found out what I named Gerard and he put his tiny little hand out and touched Zoro's arm. When Zoro looked down the kid was Lotus-glaring at him full-on like "Don't u dare hurt my mommy.") He bit Nishi's finger when she tried to pinch his cheek too. Fiesty, but fucking adorable! <3 <3 <3 And we're going to count Nala with them, so basically five. New kid count: 27 (including Edgar, Sunny, Nala, Livy, and Feather) *large sigh*
1:11pm ℓσσкѕ ιηησ¢єηт єησυgн, ∂σєѕη'т ιт? вυт ѕσмєтιмєѕ тнєяє αяє ∂αηgєяѕ ιηνσℓνє∂ тнαт ηєνєя мєєт тнє єує. ησ мαттєя ωнєяє уσυ мєєт α ѕтяαηgєя, вє ¢αяєƒυℓ ιƒ тнєу αяє тσσ ƒяιєη∂ℓу.
How do you tell someone who's related to you that you're not really on good terms with something kind of really important?
8:21pm Apparently being who I am is just a phase and that I should quit the act. I'm giving Shanks one more chance, but he has to go back with his pirate crew for a little and think about just what he's done here. Maybe then we'll take him back. But certainly not now. I am who I am and I can't change that.
From "House of Wolves" by MCR...
уσυ вєттєя яυη ℓιкє тнє ∂єνιℓ, '¢αυѕє тнєу'яє ηєνєя gσηηα ℓєανє уσυ αℓσηє! уσυ вєттєя нι∂є υρ ιη тнє αℓℓєу, '¢αυѕє тнєу'яє ηєνєя gσηηα ƒιη∂ уσυ α нσмє! αη∂ αѕ тнє вℓσσ∂ яυηѕ ∂σωη тнє ωαℓℓѕ, уσυ ѕєє мє ¢яєєριη' υρ тнєѕє нαℓℓѕ. ι'νє вєєη α вα∂ мσтнєяƒυ¢кєя тєℓℓ уσυя ѕιѕтєя ι'м αησтнєя gσ! gσ! gσ!
αη∂ ι ѕαι∂, ѕαу, ωнαт ι ωαηηα ѕαу тєℓℓ мє ι'м αη αηgєℓ, тαкє тнιѕ тσ му gяανє. тєℓℓ мє ι'м α вα∂ мαη, кι¢к мє ℓιкє α ѕтяαу. тєℓℓ мє ι'м αη αηgєℓ, тαкє тнιѕ тσ му gяανє.
тєℓℓ мє ι'м α вα∂, вα∂, вα∂, вα∂ мαη. тєℓℓ мє ι'м α вα∂, вα∂, вα∂, вα∂ мαη. тєℓℓ мє ι'м α вα∂, вα∂, вα∂, вα∂ мαη. тєℓℓ мє ι'м α вα∂, вα∂, вα∂, вα∂ мαη. ѕσ gєт υρ! ѕσ gєт συт!
4:50pm The Light Behind Your Eyes- MCR
So long to all my friends, Everyone of them met tragic ends... With every passing day, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight ... And if they only knew what I would say- If I could be with you tonight ,I would sing you to sleep .. Never let them take the light behind your eyes. One day I’ll lose this fight, As we fade in the dark.. Just remember you will always burn as bright. Be strong and hold my hand, Time—it comes for us, you’ll understand . We’ll say goodbye today, And I'm sorry how it ends this way .. If you promise not to cry ,Then I’ll tell you just what I would say.. If I could be with you tonight ,I would sing you to sleep Never let them take the light behind your eyes. I’ll fail and lose this fight .Never fade in the dark, Just remember you will always burn as bright ..The light behind your eyes ,The light behind your- Sometimes we must grow stronger and You can't be stronger in the dark. When I’m here, no longer, You must be stronger, and If I could be with you tonight... I would sing you to sleep, Never let them take the light behind your eyes .. I failed and lost this fight, Never fade in the dark .Just remember you will always burn as bright .The light behind your eyes ,The light behind your eyes...
9:50pm I decided to take in the other carnival kid, Bengal. Both he and Kandy are fitting in well.
2-3-15Back to school.... Ugh....
9:56pm ._______. I'm a chameleon.
Today's Robin's birthday. I made her a cake.
More then ever now I'm gonna get swarmed by reporters and my life's on the line with these assassins, as well as my family. Being a leader sucks ass. One bad thing happens with someone you know or you make a mistake, and everyone who hates you tries to kill you or you get bombarded for answers as soon as you step outside.
Delayed opening at school... Oh joy... Nothing much happened in dd last night... A Lotus shifter invaded our house (while I was in the middle of a killstreak in Halo Reach), but I took care of it. We just kinda rested up.
7:52am WELL FUCK I FORGOT WE HAD THE CONCERT TONIGHT SINCE WE SOLD OUT SO FAST GOTTA GET UP AND GO
9:35am We played the FUCK outta that concert! Everything from MCR to Tool to Disturbed mixed with some AC/DC, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, everything. We played "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce so Akira could do the insane guitar solo and "Inagadadavida" by Iron Butterfly so Kuro could play the seven minute drum solo. We let T.J., Sizzle, and Kuro do some Hollywood Undead songs too while I took a break, and they were damn awesome. And of course the last fans standing (a lot of them got nosebleeds or fainted. o.O) heard our only song "The Infinity". The best part is that now the media is directed away from any bad stuff for awhile. But damn, we are TIRED.
Valentine's Day approaches...
Doing Valentine's Day with Zoro today. Hope we don't get attacked or anything. .-.
GUYS WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT FILL UP A SUPER BIG GULP CUP FULL OF 5-HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG IT. #LifeLessonForTheDay
I found Amy and Andrea yesterday and brought them to HQ. Kyoya got back at her for calling him a Jewish Ass-Smacker.
9:53pm Andrea's crew, or rather Heather's crew all showed up at their building today. It was great to see them. :3 (PS. Andrea, mark this date down. It's your crew's anniversary)
Gonna be MIA for awhile today, going to my dad's. Be on later though!
I hope I drown
I hope I die
Fuck it all, this was my one more try
Nobody cares, face the facts
It's going to hell anyway, only murderers and sick people do I attract
Move on, will you all?
I'm dangerous, to most people I appall
I'm no good anyway, my job is done
Do yourself a favor, and run
Get far away, safe to high ground
Because when there's rot, it spreads around
I'm sick in dd and it's awful.
Home sick in reality.... Life just gets better and better every day..... -.-
8:40pm BROS. IF I START ACTING REALLY HAPPY AND TELLING YOU THAT I'VE CHANGED DO NOT BELIEVE ME! IT'S HER GOD DAMN IT! FUCKING FUCK I HATE LOTUS
Home sick again.... XPPP Tonight we do our Battle of the Bands with The Notes from the Diamond District. We'll show those Capitol bastards what a street crew can do. There's a worst singer category. I'll have Luffy and Nishi do a Ke$ha song.
Killed the competition with The Notes! Nishi and Luffy won worst with Tik Tok. Rescued a big dog.
Doing some work in east Garnet today with the soldiers and the crew. Also building some more houses and buildings in our area and the Capitol. Just kind of working on rebuilding. Hopefully we get a good amount of work done.
9:17pm Big shot battle. One Piece's strongest pirates against the strongest in the world government. We won, of course. Everyone's got a few new scars though.
I took in a little girl named Embria yesterday. She's adorable! Now I'm working in east Garnet again and there are more orphans... RESIST NOEMI. DO NOT ADOPT MORE KIDS!
Lotus took over and I got really hurt... I was pregnant again too. And now... Now some of them are dead or messed up.... It wasn't even from the attack, my genetics pre-fucked up some of them.... The day just took it's gradual nose-dive.
Another day of fucked up shit.... Well it's over until tomorrow.
Today I'm probably gonna end up doing housewife things all day since I can't go anywhere.
8:51pm Neith and Sabo are a thing now. Defeated some bastards and now Luffy, Ace, and Sabo are finally reunited.
I have a brother. He's 13 and we rescued him from his cougar prostitute mom who named him Booze. He just renamed himself Noeru Nobuki Nikko Ryuu Le Roux, but he just to call him Noeru. He's an experiment escapee and he's half dragon. We'll make sure Shanks never gets drunk in a bar again. EVER. Great job dad.
9:03pm List of animes to never watch ever: 1. Boku No Piku 2. Elfen Lied
We got attacked by Five Night's at Freddy's animatronics, but the Dreamt version... They went for the babies but we got rid of them. They smeared some really awful shit on them though.... Kyoya healed them, luckily and they're clean..... Now I made a shit ton of pies that I'm going to make the crew and my soldiers eat. Probably gonna end up staying home and doing the usual paper-signing and planning...
9:44pm My song for the day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCD2tB1qILc
Zoro and I made up, luckily.... We hit a bump in the road... Nishi got pregnant and she and Sanji are going all out with the parenting... She's knitting blankets and baby clothes and sewing stuffed animals, decorating the nursery... Both of them are reading all these parent magazines and comparing names... Like, damn.
Makino really pisses me off.... She was in a bitch mood really early in the morning and when Nagisa went to her about a nightmare and woke her up she slapped her. Then Nagisa grew a forest in our livingroom and made a bunch of earthquakes outside. Luckily we got the poor girl back and I kicked Makino's ass. Still surprised to see Nagisa's an earth elemental. Lotus's doing, of course. Later..
Colors dance across my vision
The last thing I saw was the final collision
Colors, I see; Orange, Pink, Teal, and now Blue
One day I swear, these days of torture, they'll rue
If only I could do it now, fade them all, every last bit of their hue
Those wretched visions, I should have listened
The nightmares, the warnings, the spectrum that glistened
I saw those colors, I knew they'd be trouble
But when I neglected and the dreams, they doubled
I did not listen, and to much did I suffer
But as I look at the sky, watching the sun set
I know in my heart, them taking over, never will I let
We did a big expansion on the building and Opal sent us four new crew members. Nymph, Fawn's older sister and a nurse in training (also a healer) is a new apprentice to Kyoya. Then there's the girl who showed up with her, Mel, who's a new fighter and half water lizard. Then there's Kobra, Mel's twin brother a total Kyoya who's nothing like her. He's training to be a healer. Last there's Cody, this cool dude we got who's a fighter but also a technician and Kobra's boyfriend. So far we ship Mel and Nymph too.
It's Franky's birthday today so we made him a cake and we're having party. Nothing much else, though. I wish I could do stuff but of course I can't... XP
^.^" So last night I got into trouble and now I'm hooked up to a bunch of machines in Kyoya's office and I only woke up for a few minutes. The rest was just unconscious nightmares...... So yeah.
3-11-15BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD THINGS GUYS VERY BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Babies (and foal) were born yesterday. Named them. Himmel, Raion, and Mammoru are the boys. Himmel has dark brown hair and blue eyes with a cute smile, I named him that because it means "Heaven" in German. Raion means lion in Japanese, he's half angel and half lion were and he's very lively so far. Mammoru means "protector" in Japanese, he's always crawling around the others and making sure they're okay. He's a big boy too, exactly like Zoro. The girls are Iji, Azayaka, and the foal is a girl too, Caliga. Iji means "eye" in American Indian and she has green and black hair. Very quiet so far, I noticed. She didn't come out crying either, which leads me to believe she'll be a quiet baby? (I hope so. Maybe I'll get some rest...) Azayaka is a bit of a Purrggh.... She's a chameleon girl with rainbow hair and she can change a lot of colors on her body and do camouflage. She's also very loud and she's bit mischievous... Caliga.... I took her name from a Latin word, "caligo" meaning darkness or mist or fog. She's a pony.... Long story. She basically has two fathers, Zoro and King Sombra from MLP. Some loyalists got me when Lotus took over a few days ago when I was pregnant and kinda put her there.... She has an all black coat except for purple tips on her front hooves and a purple muzzle. Red eyes and straight, purple and red mane that hangs like tar along with a curved horn and alicorn wings, pointy teeth, purple flowy eyebrows like Sombra, oh and she has two other red horns on her head as well, and a few other signs of a dark magic wielder. Gonna fix things up though, it'll be okay.
10:37pm Took 6 bullets to the head, had to shave the top of my head to a mohawk. New scars on the chest and arms too, great. Well I re-killed Lotus and I've destroyed the Loyalists. That's all that matters, right?
I just managed to get my zombie-like self out of bed. Ripped out all the wires. Back to work. Just glad Kyoya didn't give me a morphine needle. I'd kill him if he used any of those hardcore happy-painkiller drugs.
Nishi had her kittens last night. Zeffa, Mishi, and Sanji Junior. Don't ask for middle names. They're ridiculously stupid. (Like the names she gives her stuffed animals)
#PrayedForNoKickBall It worked! I prayed that we didn't play kickball in gym today, and Mother Mary answered my prayers. Hallelujah! Anyway, I'm currently having it out with Camo Cala, the leader of the loyalist army and my chameleon dad. ----------------->
I captured Camo and Lilith, Camo's crazy daughter and my newest sister. They're pretty fucked up, the two of them. Sick, twisted minds. It's going to take a lot of medicine and a lot of healing to fix the two of them, as well as time. So far Kyoya's been working with them and they're definitely a little better, especially after I got through with them. Though they can't be outside yet, they're still dangerous and it isn't safe to let them out in their current state. As for the situation with Orange, it's still sinking and it's gonna go way down and stay that way for a long, long time until I can leave.
It's so weird to cry when I haven't been able to in a long, long time. It's like two years of seeing my life crash like a rigged plane and burn, seeing the ashes scatter away and the ruins sink deeper and deeper into the cold, deep, dark sea. Only when I reach the bottom of the sea and realize my allies are dying that I too notice that I am sort for breath and dying slowly and painfully myself, sinking through the sand and mud of the ocean floor do I release my tension. When the plane started going down I didn't cry, while it hit the water I didn't cry, but as I sink lower then the sea I realize that is no way out now and it doesn't matter if I cry, I do. But even when I cry now all I can do is shake and shed a few tears that don't even make it down my face before they dry up. That's what it is living with a cold heart and in constant agony I guess. Eventually you get used to it and if you train yourself not to cry, you don't. Then when the end hits the only reason why you cry is to get rid of some of the tension, a human reaction. But I only cried for about five minutes. Even if I wanted to cry, even though I tried to force myself, I can't. I'm a monster and the only tears worked out of me now are over severe emotionally tolling problems. The only other way to relieve my tension is through physical pain but that can only direct my attention for so long and when I do that all I do is hurt myself and the people I love. I feel like there's nothing left to help me. I just have to put myself through this and eventually swim back to surface. Even if that means my allies are dead and I've been betrayed by those who I used to love and left me to sink and rot. But as always, things are easier said then done.
Umbra learned a hair growth spell so I don't have the mohawk anymore.
Zoro has a cousin.
When Kyoya asked me for another blood test after treatment, an MCR song popped into my head and it just reminds me of me so much right now! I'm happily singing it in a twisted way:
Well they encourage your complete cooperation, Send you roses when they think you need to smile. I can't control myself because I don't know how, And they love me for it honestly, I'll be here for a while. So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff! Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough. So give them blood, blood, blood. Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood! A celebrated man amongst the gurneys. They can fix me proper with a bit of luck. The doctors and the nurses they adore me so, But it's really quite alarming cause I'm such an awful fuck. (Oh thank you!) I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff, I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough. I gave you blood, blood, blood, I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!
I fainted in the bathroom in dd at about 3 in the afternoon and luckily Zoro found me a few minutes later when he came home. They had to bring me back to the hospital and give me more chemo which stunk. When I woke up I stayed in the Darkness Kingdom hospital overnight. It was dinner time but no food since I have surgery again tomorrow... Now I gotta get nutrients from an IV. It totally sucks.. At about 1:15am I woke up and I couldn't fuckin' breathe, so that was just GREAT. I passed out after they hooked me up to some oxygen and I haven't been awake since... It's been so hectic... I hope the witches find some sort of reverse spell sometime soon...
Got back from Aaron and Ryule's wedding. :) It was beautiful.
10:14pm If anyone types as me with a weird fancy-ish font it's either Olivera or someone who calls herself Daymare Linarose or Rose Daymare. Don't listen to either of them, don't talk to them, and ignore all that they say, please.
Mental breakdown last night, I'm okay now though. A few more scars and such... Oh and two emo goth dudes brought me home after my little episode so yeah. They're on the crew now I think. One's name is Andrew and the other one is Salem.
9:26pm So Zoro had Sizzle grow his hair out so it's poofy and stuff and he comes out and I go to feel it and his phone rings and he rushes off to answer to Kuina, claiming he'd be back in five minutes. -.- Fifteen minutes and I'm still waiting on the couch. So me, Kuro, Salem, Andrew, Akira, T.J., Nao, and the rest of the band went to go get piercings. I already have one in my eyebrow from last night, so I'm gonna get more. But only in my eyebrows.
Last night was wrongfuckular. Basically the Loyalists did some stuff and made a child from Salem and I. Almost happened with Zoro and Kuina too, but we stopped them before they could. He's a cute baby though. We named him Sabien.
9:25pm Himmel's blind. Thanks for doing that Rose. Thanks so fucking much. He had good, healthy eyes and now they're pale and sightless because Rose doesn't want me to live. I mean come on. Do it to me at least! Don't take it out on my son!
Alright. Thanks to Aaron, Himmel isn't blind anymore. Rose has been making her little game more difficult... Well whatever, I'll survive.
We really gotta find a word that means more then hate, whatever it is, that's what I'm using to describe my feelings on Rose.
7:00pm Stay out of hood bars.
MY GOD IT'S A TRAGEDY THE CHANNEL I WATCH MY LITTLE PONY ON GOT CANCELED ON MY TV OR SOME WACKY SHIT AND NOW I CAN'T WATCH THE NEW SEASON FIVE EPISODES AND MY MOM WON'T ANSWER HER PHONE TO CALL VERIZON AND NOW I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND WAIT WHILE ALL THE OTHER BRONIES AND PEGASISTERS SEE THE NEW EPISODES AND BY THE TIME I GET ON YOUTUBE IT'LL BE ALL SPOILED AND SHIT. IT'S NOT FAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I WANT TO WATCH MY LITTLE PONY WHY IS MY LIFE SO HORRIBLE GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
4:40pm Just took Aaron to the holiday store in Energy City. They actually sell hope bagels, like geez. X3 Anyway it was fun and we got some good stuff so yeah. :)
I can kinda see where my future's headed now. I can take two paths, possibly a third if the worst doesn't happen. But unfortunately I can see when a bad event is going to happen. I'll probably end up alone in this all, but I do promise not to kill myself. As much as I say I should, or as much Olivera says I should, I really can't and I shouldn't. Even if my plan failed, I won't.
Playing an H.U. concert tonight.... Only memorable thing from last night was that we showed Zoro that Kuina was flirting with him and he got pretty mad that he didn't see it.
8:02pm So far we have the red, golden/yellow, blue, and now green roses.
Kyoya's making me stay home today and I think I need it... I got wrecked yesterday and if I go out I might collapse and get kidnapped...
Cleared out some of the old labs and we might have a couple ponies to add to the crew.
5:18pm My legs feel dead I've been walking so long.......
9:34pm BANG BANG BANG MUTHAFUCKAS NOEMI SHOT UP RAPISTS AGAIN!
Almost died, survived though as usual... Be back to normal schedule on the wiki tomorrow. Finally leaving D.C. before lunch and then I'll be back home by the afternoon.
Got home from Washington D.C. today at four. I'm at my dad's tomorrow but I'll try my best to be on. Turns out Zoro has a grandmother alive on his dad's side and so far she doesn't know anything about dd and she's pretty terrified of me.
Great-Grandmother Hinohisa pretty much hates me and a lot of the kids.
I really fuckin' hate the paparazzi... I really do.
I actually won in the art show at school which I'm pretty surprised about. What sucks is that Rose pumped me full of anti-venom in dd and I got sick. XP Kyoya helped me though and gave me medicine and I'll be working from home today under strict orders that I can't leave. I also have something wrong with my esophagus or something in Reality so I feel like a fucking mess today.
So I'm not sick in dd anymore but today in Reality I felt like absolute shit. :D
We decided to do some dance games with the crew.. Zetro's impressed us all greatly. He's gonna be an AWESOME professional dancer when he grows up. Unfortunately I had to dance to all the songs I hate... -.- I get Rich Girl EVERY time and WITHOUT fail. AND WOOOOO FUCK YEAH NO MORE METAL CASTS IT'S BEEN A WEEK!
I'm gonna work harder to rid the world of neggi-bombs.
What an eventful day... We discovered three Ganem-Loyalist bases in Satus Beta and Amber helped rescue Shina Sojo, an important friend of my Aunt Maia when she was working as a double-agent for Ganem in Radix Prim. Thanks to Aerominn, the two were rescued. Now we have more information on Ganem, we've found Aerominn's sister, and freed about 3,000 people victim to experimentation in the bases and now they will return home to Radix Prim. Hopefully with this information we'll be able to get rid of Ganem.
4-18-15 6:28pm IMPORTANT NEWS (From Sadao)
Also I am so very very very happy to tell you all that the wonderful Sadao Horrace Mortiver is alive and well and he will continue to grace us all with his presence for many more years to come. He is just simply too precious and wonderful and I don't know if we could've continued living without him.
6:29pm Well it's awfully wonderful of Sadao to raid my log and put that news in. Yes he's alive and I'm happy he is. :3
OMG GUYS SO I JUST HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM EVER. I WAS IN THIS MIST OR WHATEVER AND THERE WAS THIS FLOATING BOX OF FIVE CHEESE HOT POCKETS AND I WAS LIKE, "I WANT ONE OF THOSE" AND THEN I STARTED CHASING THE BOX AROUND AND THEN WHEN I FOUND IT ZORO WAS HOLDING IT AND HE TOOK ONE OF THE HOT POCKETS OUT AND PEELED THE WRAPPING OFF AND HE STARTED EATING THE UNCOOKED HOT POCKET AND I WAS LIKE, "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EATING AN UNCOOKED HOT POCKET?" AND HE WAS ALL, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK." AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "GIVE ME ONE." AND THEN HE SHOVED THE ENTIRE BOX INTO HIS MOUTH AND I WAS LIKE, "YOU DOUCHE YOU ATE ALL THE HOT POCKETS COME ON I WAS HUNGRY!" AND THEN THE SCENE SWITCHED TO A WEDDING AND I WAS IN A WHITE DRESS (WHICH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I WAS IN A WHITE DRESS I'D NEVER WEAR THAT TO MY WEDDING) AND EVERYONE AT THE WEDDING WAS A HOT POCKET. EVEN ZORO. LIKE HE WAS A HOT POCKET IN A SUIT. AND LIKE KYOYA WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WASN'T A HOT POCKET AND HE WAS ALL, "DON'T EAT THE HOT POCKETS NOEMI THEY'RE NOT HEALTHY FOR YOU." AND THEN THE FLOOR WAS MADE OUT OF THESE GIANT GRAPES FLOATING IN THIS GREEN JUICE OR WHATEVER AND KYOYA STARTED EATING THE GRAPES AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOU SHOULD EAT THESE NOEMI THEY'RE HEALTHY FOR YOU!" AND THEN T.J. WALKED IN AND HE WASN'T A HOT POCKET EITHER AND HE WAS SMOKING THIS REALLY BIG BAG OF POT AND HE WAS LIKE, "THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHAT DID I MISS?" AND I LOOKED AT HIM AND I WAS LIKE, "THEY'RE ALL HOT POCKETS!" AND THEN KYOYA WAS SWIMMING IN THE GRAPES AND HE WAS WHISPERING THINGS LIKE, "SO HEALTHY... THESE GRAPES ARE SO HEALTHY..." AND THEN I WOKE UP ON THE COUCH IN DD AND JUST DAMN IT WAS SO WEIRD BUT THAT'S ALL FOR NOW I'M REALLY HUNGRY AND I WANT SOME HOT POCKETS SO I GTG BYE
5:40pm Just got done putting Lione's old "friend" in the psychiatric ward since he had really bad, untreated schizophrenia and kidnapped young boys and killed animals and did crazy shit with them in his shed and he called Lione at 4 in the morning asking to help bury bodies and we both drove over there to see what was up. Mind you, Lione hasn't heard from the guy, Billy, in like five years. He was only nice to the guy at work because he was kind of an outcast and he never actually went to his house either. Billy's insane. He killed pets he adopted and mummified them, doing bad taxidermy on their bodies and sticking them in a closet and doing all this crazy shit and he believed his dead (and not resurrected) brother Lucas was telling him to do all this. So we convinced him into an ambulance to take him to the mental institute and doctors from the United Satus Beta Armies came and helped the kids in the shed. Luther, one of the teenage dudes from in the shed (luckily not mutilated by Billy) is currently with us and he's going to see if his family in the south side of Energy City is still there. He was locked in the shed for five months. What a fucktasticly fucktacular story.
My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,
I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone....
My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn't work again,
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone....
Last night was shitty... I got into a fight with Zoro... Hopefully we can come into an agreement today somehow...
Zoro and I made up. By now ya'll have probably heard about how Rose possessed Camo and stuff happened. Now I have Chiyuki, our daughter, and I don't know what I'm gonna tell her when she grows up about who her real father is. There was a boy too, Orin, but he died instantly after I had him... He'll rest with the ones from Koke's litter, Oliver, Alkaline, and Nobuhiro. I'm going to get their names tattooed on the backs of my shoulders. It'll give me another reason to protect my back in battle. Scars on the back are the shame of a swordsman. So I'll go down with an otherwise markless back except for those four names.
10:28pm BROS, THE LOOK ON WATER BITCH'S FACE WHEN CHIYUKI BIT HER ARM XDDDD SHE WAS ALL, "GET YOUR VICIOUS SNAKE BABY OFF ME!" GOD IT WAS SO FUNNY WATCH THE NEWS
Going to my dad's this weekend, I'll try to be on later and as always I'll be back tomorrow afternoon.
6:31pm Going to do some hard work today around Energy City and Garnet.. Building more houses and metalworking and stuff... To make up from yesterday when I was inconvenienced by Rose.
Fighting the Water Bitch again. She's never gonna quit it with me. ;3 And I'm fine with that. The military world leader always welcomes a good fight.
9:03pm STOP THE FUCKIN' PRESSES PEOPLE PANIC! AT THE DISCO PUT OUT A NEW SONG- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nL0jrUwSEg-IT'S THE SHIT. SO ALL YOU SINNERS STAND UP AND FUCKIN' SING IT. *Note: On pixie stix ignore the fangirl*
Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all. Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing
Well today all we're really gonna do is wash some animals and try to plant some trees in some ruined forests in dd. ._____. Just environmental stuff...
9:22pm THE PEEPS ARE DEEPS
We're of the same affair, pride before the fall~~
Run away, like it was yesterday... And we could run away, if we could run away from here! I got a bulletproof heart, you got a hollow-point smile; me and your run away scars got a photograph dream on the getaway mile. Let's blow a hole in this town! And too much talking with the laser blade. Gunnin' outta this place in a bullet's embrace then we'll do it again. How can they say, "Jenny could you come back home?" 'cause everybody knows you don't, ever wanna come back, let me be the one to save you~
9:01pm Give me a shot to remember, and you can take all the pain away from me; a kiss and I will surrender. The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead~
Mother's Day. Brings back some pretty horrific memories. Mother Dearest won't shut her mouth today so I'll be hearing is her talking in my head. Otherwise I hope dinner with Zoro's parents and Aunt Maia and the kids goes well.
Might be M.I.A tomorrow, bad day.
Ah, the two year mark.... Suffering seems to last an eternity... But nope, only two years. Two years is all it took to ruin my life.
11:16pm My dad's getting worse... I'm not allowed to call him anymore and I'm not allowed to see him in the hospital either since I'm too young. They act like I'm not ready to see him in a hospital room connected to machines and stuff. But I don't care what he looks like. I just want to see him. I don't want the last I ever hear of him to be a phone call when he was barely even aware I was talking to him. They don't understand. I just... I just want to see him once more if he's going to die... Is that too much to ask?
My life is meeeannnniiiiinnnnnggglllllleeeeeesssssssssssssss
.________. I had three more kids.
I'm home sick today! Wooooo! Not. -__- My throat hurts and I cough so hard I almost puke. *Same in dd might I add* At least in Reality I'm not delusional. Kyoya told me earlier that when he went to check on me instead of telling him my symptoms I said thinks like, "Hello I am Joint or '29, welcome to the Infinity where your worst nightmares come true. Want me to show you around?" In a cracked, drunken sounding voice. Good thing Ollie didn't film it.
Y'know how I said everything was sinking into the ocean? I'm pretty much on a journey to the center of the Earth right now. And at the end I'll hit the molten, fiery core and melt to death.
That funeral... Just... I'm sorry dad.
5-28-15So apparently a couple of idiots decided it'd be a great idea to hunt deer for fun in the woods behind Indigo Fire Headquarters. Hunting, when some animal species are endangered and we're trying to bring back the natural balance, not only that, but there is the danger of DEER WERES. The imbeciles didn't realize that there are weres and that they could be killing actual people. Not only that but they were hunting behind Indigo Fire headquarters where there is a lot of wildlife in those woods; including the big great sycamore tree we all all Anodette which means "big tree" in American Indian, and plenty of deer and animals that Zoro talks to. Fawn was taking Bambi and the twins for a walk when Bambi turned into a deer and bolted into the woods. Turns out he heard those two hunters and went running to find Zoro since he's only a baby and it was the most logical thing for him to do. Fawn came inside with the twins and told us what happened, so me, Chopper, and Zoro went looking. Now, let's get something straight here, Chopper and Zoro and Bambi are different deer types. Chopper is a reindeer or Caribou.
Zoro's a Elk/Caribou/Whitetailed/Watipi deer and that's pretty rare to have a combo like that. So Bambi has the combined strength of four different deer types, and not only that but Zoro's Guardian of Nature powers or something add to that. The hunters realized how strong Bambi was when they found him and started chasing him and then did the logical thing: They sent two bloodhounds, one whom had rabies, after Bambi to kill him. Both dogs had shock collars on to anger them and drive them on, and they caught Bambi and bit chucks out of his neck and leg before I came and knocked them out. But the hunters didn't see me yet and knew the dogs found him, so they shot. They hit Bambi in the shoulder and ran over and oh the looks on their faces when Bambi turned back into a baby and started crying. Zoro and Chopper came over and we basically mauled those two idiots. They didn't have much of a chance against two strong ass deer and an alicorn. Now Bambi is with Kyoya, Tokoro, and Chopper and they're trying to fix him. The two dogs went to emergency vet care in the Umbra base. Now Zoro and are trying to calm this little fawn Zoro found down. We found the hunters' truck and they killed a doe. The fawn, a female, was crying and trying to wake her mother (who was displayed rather savagely on the back of the truck) up but by then it was too late. We buried the mother deer and Zoro decided to take her baby in. The mother deer was cream/white colored, same as the new fawn so that's why the hunters spotted them so fast. The fawn we're naming Anamosa (Ana for short) which is Sauk Indian for "white fawn", which fits. She can speak human, I think, she might be a were, but it's hard to tell. She's a baby like Bambi, around the same age. So, now we have a motherless fawn and my son is potentially dying. New rule: No hunting until the environment is stable and we're sure they aren't weres.
Ana is settling in well and her and Bambi are already good friends. Zoro takes them for walks in the woods to see how the other herds of deer are doing and he says they love playing together. Tomorrow's the big dragon were festival or something, T.J. is insisting that Noeru, Drako, and I go with him and his friends. It sounds pretty fun though, and there's a huge yearly race that goes from midnight to dawn around the major volcano ring in the Fire Kingdom and whoever wins gets to put their hand mark in the side of the mountain with the others and you can get the ends of your wings dipped in gold. Plus there's supposed to be amazing food and you can meet other dragons and stuff and apparently the actual dragons that are there *not weres* lay their eggs and you can see the baby dragons hatch and they're pretty cute. Noeru and Drako are excited and they're racing as a team. T.J. and I are going to be a racing team too so that sound be interesting.
You know you have too many kids when you can't name them all within three minutes. (PS. 2 (Technically 3 since one's a two-headed dragon) more)
Ugh, God I am like, wicked sick right now. Not the easy kind of sick when you have a sore throat and eat ice cream all day and sleep, either. My temperature is crazy high and I get delusions and nightmares and all that shit. Plus I'm so fuckin' nauseated that I can't even smell food without wanting to puke. I missed school today and I might miss it tomorrow too and that's fuckin' craptastic since all the study guides for final exams went out.
Apparently some people want me to be a genius cheerleader who listens to One Direction and shops at stores that don't scare her parents away. Such a shame I turned out the way I did. It was entirely my choice to end up like this. Totally.
If it was 2006, it would have been Satan day... Ah, the random facts I notice when I look at the date. Anyway, I'm not doing much in dd today. Just my usual work and stuff. I'll probably still be extra emo though. I'm still wearing all black for my dad. I had to buy more black ties and shirts, too. Plus it's hot, I attract a lot of sun with that. XP Every morning Lione is now making it a habit to say, "I miss your purple ties," or "No purple today, Noemi?" And it's getting really freaking annoying. Shanks just tells him to leave me alone and then he shuts up but STILL.
~I'm nuts, baby I'm mad, the craziest friend that you've ever had! You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone, go tell the psychiatrist something is wrong~
I'm really close to blowing up at my brother. I really am. I hate living with him, I hate being around him. Yeah, the Bible would say that's a sin, but I honestly do not care anymore. He so rude to me and he's such a douche. He comes into my room screaming at me about how I didn't let him into the house when: 1. I didn't hear him or know he was coming home at this time. I'm in my room with the door closed with my music on. 2. He's got a house key for a reason, but he doesn't carry it because he expects me to open the door for him all the time. 3. Even if he forgot his key at home or lost it (he didn't, he just leaves it home now), there's a spare key around and I told him where it is multiple times. 4. This has happened before, he should know enough to take his key with him now. 5. In the process of yelling and slamming the door and being rude, he scared my cat shitless. 6. He was out there for only 15 minutes, it wasn't like an hour or anything 7. He could have texted me 8. He used the phrase, "You're in here listening to your stupid My Chemical Romance or whatever-the-fuck" and frankly I wasn't listening to MCR, nor was my music very loud. I just can't hear the doorbell from upstairs and I have to keep the door closed to my room temporarily since we took my dad's cat in and she needs to stay in my room until she gets adjusted and she and Starr stop hissing at each other. 8. He's been a douche all day, telling me in the car this morning, "And you think you've got problems." after my mom told him to call her so she could drive him to band practice, which is rather rude of him. So yeah. He's being so rude and crass and impatient to me, and a lot of the things that go wrong for him are because of his attitude. One of these days I'm afraid he's going to hurt me or something like when he got mad at me in the car over something stupid once and clawed my face to the point where I thought a chunk of my cheek was gonna come off if he didn't let go.
8:21pm I got my middle finger back in dd.... And I also got attacked by a shark. But it only bit my right arm and the most I have are these four little deep scars in the shape of the teeth on my hand, the rest I was able to heal with Lotus's powers.
Well so far my morning in dd has been filled with work, making dangerous tacos for Zoro's lunch, and seemingly never-ending nightmares.
Sick asf but I think I'll be better by tomorrow.
So my mom took me to a doctor and to sum it up I'm basically just getting over a virus. But "just to make sure" I have to get bloodwork done. Best last day of school ever, right? I didn't even go to school for the full half day. On our way to the doctor we just stopped at the school to get my shit out of my locker. I didn't even get to say goodbye to most people.
Well I am no longer sick, but I can't talk or eat or anything because of all these stupid fever sores in my mouth and my mom thinks I'm developing an eating disorder or something since it hurts too much to even open my mouth and I haven't had any food in my stomach for a few days. So I can do nothing but sit on my bed and frown and watch Youtube because even if it was one of the rare occurrences when I feel joy, it hurts to smile. Also to no avail, I have not been able to get out of the bloodwork I "need" done on Monday. I have also been told that I'm being dragged to North Carolina to see my cousins over the summer for a few days (something I would not like to do for a lot of reasons) and I'm also being dragged to Pennsylvania for a few days to spend time with two of my mom's highschool teachers again (when I wish I could stay home and be an outcast and be sad over my dad and not have to pretend to be happy). Maybe when I'm fourteen I can stop getting dragged on miscellaneous vacations that I'd rather not go on. They're people my mom wants to see, so why can't she go herself? "Where will I put you?" she'll say. And that'll be the end of that. I was planning on spending a week with my dad before the cancer news and the cirrhosis news and before he died, but then again I planned on a lot of things before all that and they won't happen either. Summer looks like it's gonna be a drag until August when I have art classes and horseback riding camp. Can't I just go to two months of Sit-On-The-Wiki-Chat-Alone-And-Hope-Somebody-Comes-On-While-Talking-To-My-Ex-Girlfriend-On-Another-Website camp? Not the best thing ever but it's better then sitting at an unknown table in a house in a different state with air conditioning blasting while fake smiling and eating take-out pizza or microwaved chicken nuggets with people who don't know me and I think don't really care either, they just want to talk and gossip with my mom. I hate those vacations. All I hear about is Orange and how "bad" my dad was in hushed whispers from another room. Oh, and when I go to North Carolina I get to have my grandmother tell me things like, "You need to smile more." or "You're too quiet." or "You'd look so pretty with earrings." or "You're really weird." That, and I can also count on another "Not anymore!" comment from my cousin whenever I bring up something about my dad. Summer looks REAL bright. And I mean that. I'll be at the beach in the sun burning my skin instead of my room in the dark with MCR or Of Mice and Men or Black Veil Brides or Falling In Reverse playing. I can't make too many choices now, but maybe when I'm older I'll go to collage in Italy or something and get the fuck out of here, then I'll move back to America and get a job in New York.
Started off the day on an empty stomach and got a blood test that took forever. Now I gotta start eating
again or I'll pass out like I almost did two nights ago. #MakingProgress #MyArmHurtsSoICanBarelyType
I keep forgetting all these days are going by, geez... It's been two days since that blood test? Anyway, I got all skinny from not eating and it's a little scary. My legs tremble a little when I walk down the stairs and some of my torso bones are jutting out. My mom keeps saying I'm going to end up in the hospital but I think she should lay off a little. She just doesn't want to look neglective I think. I just need to start eating again slowly-Though I'd rather survive off of chocolate milk and water instead.
Well eating slowly seems to work, but all I can manage to stomach are few bites of food and a glass of iced tea or milk or water. I'll get better but it doesn't help with my mom pressuring me to eat more all the time... She tries to get me to eat more than I can handle and I end up laying in bed with a lot of pain. That, or she tries to get me to eat instead of drink and she won't let me have milk. Then I don't bother eating and I can't drink because she won't let me and I go to bed starving. She really doesn't get it.
Well my mother is more crazy than I thought she was. She thinks we're taking that two-night trip to see her two highschool teachers on Wednesday. She's out of her mind if she thinks I'm going to be fit enough to go there. Her Spanish teacher is this very-organized woman and she prepares literal schedules of the things we're supposed to do and she slaps them on the table when we get there. It goes like this:
8:15am Wednesday- Wake up and eat breakfast. 9:30am- Get in car and go to (insert some place to spend the morning at that will likely involve a lot of walking around and socializing). 12:30pm- Get lunch at (insert some restaurant that only serves Thanksgiving-like food or stop home). 1:15pm Drive to (insert some place to spend the afternoon that might be historic or too much for little kids and will most likely involve a lot of walking around or physical activity and socializing). 7:30pm-Drive to (insert another restaurant/buffet that only serves Thanksgiving-like food or stop home and order a pizza *which is the most exotic they will go with food*). 8:30pm- (Insert possible evening event that requires physical activity and socializing and might be boring, or free time for "kids" *one mature teenager and another immature one* and socializing and gossip for adults over some alcohol. 10:00pm Bed! Rest for another busy day tomorrow!
Yeah. No effing way I'm gonna be able to walk around and smile and "try to have fun" and actually do boring things and eat normally in my state. My father died a little over a month ago-Do I seem like the type to want to go on vacation the summer after her father who frankly meant a lot to her DIED of one of the most aggressive fucking cancers in existence, as well as liver disease AT THE SAME TIME? Sounds like a great way to grieve. I totally don't want to be alone and relax in my room for awhile and tune out the world like any other normal teenager for the summer! Fuck my life
WOOO NAH MORE FACKIN BLOOD TESTS DAT SHIZ IS ALL DONE
EFFIN' DONUT DREAMS WHY
Gonna go into the Deep Freeze and free some of the people Lotus froze. (I finally found it due to a call from one of my old friends who broke out of the Freeze and got into contact with me on the phone.) And the '29 gang will have found more of it's members. So far we know Misty-Fly and Fizzlemah are there, meaning only GNit is left to find and I'm investigating another area he might be in so maybe we'll find the whole gang I had when I was in the Infinity again.
Found all my gang yesterday. Today, I face a peril unlike any other in Reality.
2:50pm I have to drink six cups of
m̶o̶d̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶c̶u̶l̶t̶ ̶G̶a̶t̶o̶r̶a̶d̶e̶ -
Sorry I mean tall glasses of Gatorade with an entire bottle of powdered MiraLAX mixed into it. Doctor's orders. If I die today from this shit, then I'll be dead. If I survive, I don't think I'll ever look at a bottle of orange Gatorade the same again.
3:59pm I can't fuckin' do it. I can't even get through one fuckin' glass. I feel like there's ice cubes in my chest and I feel like I'm going to vomit. If I never see another bottle of Gatorade again, that'd be a blessing.
6:07pm I smell real food being cooked downstairs. Pasta. I haven't had a plate of pasta in a Godless eternity. But do you know what I have for dinner? Orange Gatorade and laxatives. And do you know what I'm eating for breakfast tomorrow? Nothing. After the test around lunchtime? A possible beverage. Probably a health drink. I'm going to go psycho if I don't get any real fucking food tomorrow. By 8pm tonight, I will have no trace of any food in my system, I will go to bed ravenously hungry, wake up at 7:30am ravenously hungry, go through two hours of bullshit readying me for a test that I don't want to undergo, then at 9:30am I'll get put unconscious with an IV while still ravenously hungry, and then I'll wake up sometime around lunch to be handed a health drink while still ravenously hungry. If they decide I'm not nourished enough to go home, I will be stuck at that hospital and therefore miss the chat party that I started the idea for. And I will be forced to drink health drinks. If I go home and I am told I can't have food, I will climb out my window with a 20 dollar bill, walk to that little Italian place a few blocks away, and I will buy myself some fucking pasta and nobody will stop me from adding the cheese. I am Noemi and nobody can keep me from pasta after a day of literally drinking only Gatorade with powdered laxative mixed in. That is all.
Well I can eat normally and I finally got my medicine... But just hot damn there's so MUCH. All these crazy colored pills, these weird gummy things, the steroids, and this vile strawberry liquid medicine that I have to drink a little of before every meal. There's like five or six different bottles of pills on the table and some of them I have to take two of. It's so crazy but I hope at least that they work and I get better.
Corvus and Aneira will split soon. >.<
10:37pm Is it possible to hate one's own guts? If so I hate mine.
I got up at the crack of dawn because I had to take my dumb steroid.... Now I can't sleep so I just had
breakfast and it's like 7:25am. I could probably catch up with One Piece if I started watching now and went through the whole day ONLY watching One Piece.. That or I'll try to download Wizard101 or something and play it for 14 hours until someone goes on chat.
2:07pm Well I'm getting in the way of my mom's plans again for two occasions and now she's acting ridiculously rude to me. I can't help it if I'm ill (Only the first week I'm on medicine might I add) and depressed over my dad. I honestly can't do these dumb trips and vacations, and all this stress over them is probably angering my ulcers more. I wish she would leave me alone.
Today I went to get an MRE scan. The actual scan was the thing I should have worried the least about. The prep was America to go through. I had sit in a chair in private little closet-sized room to drink a big glass of grape/berry flavored barium solution (I couldn't drink the other 1 1/2 cans) and it tasted pretty God-awful and I almost puked. Thanks to my mom, I avoided the IV until I was laying on the slab outside the machine. (You're supposed to get the IV before you wait an hour drinking the barium solution but we got away with waiting. No way in 'Murica I'm sitting for an hour drinking awful barium liquid with a damn needle in my arm or hand.) And that damn IV was annoying as fuck. I also had to get an injection in my leg and I was trying to say 'I hate needles.' to the nurse since she asked why I was nervous but it came out as, "I h-h-h-h-h-h-UAHH-ate n-n-needles!" because right as I opened my mouth it she jabbed the thing into my leg and I had a mini trembling attack and stuttered.Then they covered my legs with a blanket and gave me earplugs and headphones and they pushed the slab-thingy I was laying on into the machine. Being in there wasn't so bad, I just had to try to ignore the IV in my hand. They played MCR and in-between bits of songs the doctor told me when to stop breathing for a few seconds and when to take a deep breath. The only really uncomfortable part about being in the tube-thing was the contrast liquid they pumped through the IV towards the end. There was a cold rush and I felt it go into my veins and I smelled and tasted the chemical a little, which is apparently normal. Then they did a few more pictures and I was out of the machine. Then they took out the IV and let me go collect my stuff and leave. Being in the machine only took about 15-20 minutes so that wasn't bad. I found out when I was leaving the room that they play your music in the waiting room as well as your headphones and the doctor said, "We've heard worse." Probably because I had the Welcome to the Black Parade album on! All those old people and my mom waiting around heard House of Wolves and Mama and Cancer and The Sharpest Lives! Well whatever, they heard some good music. Afterwords we left and my mom took us to the Flaming Grill for dinner which is this Asian buffet place with a wicked awesome hibachi grill (hence the name). The day ended pretty well, dinner was amazing so I guess I'm just glad all these tests are over for the time being.
No more war with the Water Kingdom, turns out the queen was a fake. And everything in the East got straightened out too so no war with them either. About time we got some good news around here.
And now both Zoro and I are bedridden. I pinched a bunch of nerves in my neck and back and I have a painful bump on my leg from some dumb bug that bit it. Not to mention all the stomach pain. I feel so pathetic just laying here. Both of us do. I remember how we used to get up early and train and stuff and here we are laying on our asses in so much pain we can't even roll over and sleep on our sides. Hell, I can't even turn my head and kiss him goodnight on the cheek because of these dumb pinched nerves. -_____- #SoDoneWithThisShit
9:27pm *sigh* I haven't killed this many people in awhile... Now the powers will go to the Chosen Ones... Unfortunately that's about one of the only good things that happened in dd today.
Won't be on between 12:30pm-4pm all week today because of art class. Taking care of Zoro today (and myself I guess -.- I don't need much caring for, Zoro's more important. u.u) and I'm making him soup and watching movies with him and it's so nice to stay home with him and help him out. He's getting better though, so he'll be okay in maybe a couple/few days. We'll see.
Zoro got better, luckily. Unfortunately, my condition seems to have worsened.
Staying home again today. I got sick again on top of the Crohn's because of my stupid immune system, it sucks.
12:26pm Ugh, my mom won't stop trying to guilt trip me about how her money's being wasted by me not going to glass art class. I keep telling her I can't help being sick but all she seems to care about is her money. I freaking threw up earlier and I have a fever! I obviously need to stay home today and rest. I didn't want to get sick like this and I didn't want to have to skip camp and art classes. She signed me up for all these classes before I got sick and we didn't know I was going to get diagnosed with a freaking DISEASE. Can't she cut me some slack after all the pain I've been through? She keeps ranting about how she's "so done with all this" and how she's at her "wit's end" with all the hospital visits and tests, but at least she's not the on in pain for two straight months! I know it's a lot of money being wasted and I do feel bad about it but some things just can't happen. I'm not going to cut glass and get near fire in a hot art studio for three hours when I have a fever and a possible virus. I wish I could go to art class, but I can't. She tells me I don't care, that I don't want to help myself, that I "just don't want to go to class", it's stupid. She even told me, and I quote, "Why don't you have a little respect for my money and try to rouse yourself and go out for a couple hours?" I try to respect her money when I can, but my health comes first. I can't just "rouse" myself out of a virus. It really shows how much she cares about money and how little she cares about me. Talk about sympathy, if one of my kids was sick like this I wouldn't force them to go to art class even if it meant wasting some money. We didn't expect me to get sick like this and she can't accept that. She's basically in denial about everything that doesn't go her way.
Doctor's appointment today at 3:30pm... My fate will be decided. Hopefully he's satisfied with the way the medicine has been working.
Well I had to fire one of my captains, Nigel, last night from the Umbra army, primarily because he turned out to be a vicious predator very keen on the idea of getting me to sign a bondage contract to him. But this isn't any Fifty Shades of Grey, so Mal and I saw his blood in fifty shades of red instead when we killed him. Captain Niko, another guy I've known for awhile and who has had a background check done will be taking his place.
I've been in agony with this neck pain for over a week now and last night was brutal. I went to my doctor and it's inflammation in my neck due to the Crohn's. It's always the Crohn's. Fucking ruins everything..
As a head's up for you all, I'd like to remind you again that I'm not going to be on a lot for the rest of the week starting tomorrow because I'm still being dragged along on the "vacation" to spend time with my relatives; despite my illness. I'll try to get on whenever I can, and I hope I'll be able to come here because if you don't know already, I do not want to go on this trip. Hopefully I'll come back alive and not sicker than before.
Forgot my phone at home because my fucking mom didn't give us enough time and because my stupid medicine took forever to kick in. Thank Aaron for Mexican taxis, orange almost drove us to the airport. luckily he probably won't drive us back either. My flight departs soon... I should be there by lunch. Also managed to download two MCR albums and one BVB one. I'll try to be online later, so hopefully I'll see you guys on chat later. cross your fingers and pray to Aaron that I don't die. According to my mom, I'm a plant because I'm so weak and I get dehydrated easily, we'll guess what mom? Plants don't have heart attacks.
12:40pm Okay now I'm in my aunt and uncle's house and my phone's coming tomorrow so I'll have it on hand. My cousin is sassier than last year. Tomorrow's drive will be four hours long to get to the beach.... *sigh* Already I know there will be moments of tension. I miss you guys so much already, I wish I was back home in my dark room looking out at the sun setting over New York. But it's only five days.... I've spent a longer time being sick.
Day two, now in Myrtle Beach. My mom needs a new car and we've had the same one my whole life... Slowly, pieces from my childhood are slipping away... I guess it's okay though, since most of my childhood was kind of a lie. Right now I'm stuck in the hotel room with my cousins and brother. I'm sick of hearing my cousin Alexa's bad rap music and her annoying singing and dancing; but most of all her attitude. She gets her own bed because she's a couple months older. I don't mind sharing with my other cousin since she's actually nice... But I hate sharing a room with Alexa. I hate being in the same room with her in the daytime, let alone sleeping in the same room. She thinks she's just all that with a side of organic fries but honestly she is being such a bitch to everyone. She keeps asking me if I brought "normal clothes" to wear and if I want her to put makeup on me and if I want to wear her clothes or go shopping for "normal" or "nice" clothes. I'm not telling her what the fuck to wear, so why is she telling ME what the fuck to wear? I'm Noemi, and I'll wear yesterday's MCR t-shirt with the ice cream stain on it and the black shorts down to my knees. I'm not going to put on makeup or get a tan, and I'll keep my nails longer than my cat's claws if I fucking feel like it. The world doesn't revolve around her, and I'm not taking her attitude or her fashion tips. I don't want anymore bad hamburgers or caffine-jacked Starbucks, I want to get in a taxi and drive to the cafe where there's M&M milkshakes and Collin's cake or funnel cake cookies. And in the cafe people don't hang up Confederate flags and stare at you weird because you're not blonde and tan with makeup caked on your face. Or I could go hang at Casa de Tacos where I can get some damn culture, or Three Dragon where I can get some Asian food and be with adults who give a shit if I'm hyperventilating. At least my wiki family knows the difference between China and Japan. -____- (Yeah, that's right. China and Japan are the same thing to these people.) If I ever found a Breakout portal TO dd instead of out of it, it wouldn't take much to get me to walk right through to the dimension I belong in.
9:06pm I'm so sick of being dragged around. I just trudge behind everyone and I slow everyone down and ruin everything with my complaining and pill-taking. My mom goes from one minute telling me I'm wrecking her vacation and that she cares about me so much to telling me she's done with me and sick of dealing with me. If she's so fucking sick of me then why doesn't she just poison me or send me to live somewhere else?! It'd be so easy to give me the wrong pill and just kill me off once and for all. She could just overdose me on meds and let me lie there and die. One little push and I'd be over the balcony and on the ground dead in under thirty seconds. If she's so sick of me then why didn't she push me off on grandma and go on vacation herself so she doesn't have to deal with me? If I'm not fucking wanted them why doesn't someone just get rid of me? It'd be so easy. Hell, she could just take one of my "weird" MCR t-shirts and strangle me with it in my sleep. It's probably because nobody in the "family" I'm with notices I exist until I complain about the pain or if I need a pill. I could turn and run into nowhere while they're all walking ahead and they wouldn't even notice I was gone until they do a damn head count for the resturant to see how much money they need to pay. I could be up and over a fence or hit by a car or struck by lightning and they'd keep laughing along and walking. I know I'm a pain in the ass to take care of, and I'm trying not to be. But it's not my fault if they force me to go places.
Back from North Carolina. Some lady beat on Tenshi when she accidently ran into her because she looked like Lotus and I beat her ass with my new power. I went like, all lion-hulk on her and now Mal has a new uterus for his wall. I went and got dehydrated in dd and they had to give me a fucking IV though. Fuck that shit.
As of today I have been back in dd for one year. I woke up exactly a year ago. So much has changed since then... Looking back I wonder how I got here.
Me and Zoro's first year anniversary today. Just keeping track in my log.
Garlic cheese chicken ramen for breakfast. #WhenMyMomLeavesABananaOnTheTableInTheMorningAndGoesToWork11:49am I got into an agument with my mom over the four hours she expects me to spend at manga class and she keeps telling me all this shit about how I'm on my computer too much and how I'm "never going to survive going back to school" if I don't start "getting out" again. I literally sit there, draw, and talk to other geeks for four hours. That's all I do. I'm not "getting out" by sitting inside and drawing, something I could have done in my own house and something she DID NOT need to pay for. I told her I didn't want to do anything this summer and that I could stay home, and she went and paid for a ton of stuff. Look what happened, I laid home all summer anyway. So she shouldn't tell me to "respect her money" if she was the one who didn't listen to me and let me stay home in the first place. Does she expect me to be like those smiley kids on the commericals playing soccer and going down water slides at resorts during summer? I had a nightmare the other night about not being able to say goodbye to my dad before he died, I'm still not over THAT yet. I'm also still taking a heaping handful of pills a day, so who's she kidding? She thinks she's some poor single mother who's trying her best to care for her kids and that they don't even care about her-When SHE'S the one who started this whole chain-reaction and caused all the hate in our family, or what's left of it. What the fuck's Christmas going to be like this year? Or Thanksgiving? Or New Year's? Easter? My mother has got rocks in her head if she thinks she's going to make the holidays even point one percent happy this year with having her friends over, or worse, her boyfriend. I will go on the wiki this Christmas Eve and I will spend it looking at a blank chat if that's going to be the way it's going to go down. Even if not a single person is on this wiki I'll feel better scrolling through our old blog posts and watching episodes and getting a good laugh out of that then sitting at a table of silence and passed glares. It's pathetic, I know. But it's pretty much all I have.
5:18pm Today Noemi was very irresponisble and not only ate ramen for breakfast; but forgot to eat lunch, take her pill with her to manga class, and forgot to bring a bottle of water to stay hydrated and not almost die. She got up and went to get some breakfast today, and Kyoya instantly knew somehow with his doctor powers that she did not take care of herself properly today and asked her what she ate for all three meals.
Kyoya and Zoro are both engaged to me and we're having a group marriage. Kyoya's family also visited today.... AND YOSHIO GOT PUNCHED BY KEVIN AND BITCH SLAPPED BY HIS WIFE!
Indigo Fire turns one today. I gave everyone the day off.
Just shoved myself out of bed because of nightmares.... Unconscious dreams are so weird.... I took a little nap in dd and then I ended up having a stress dream about going to collage with some of my friends in it and a weird one about some pyro kid who tried to kill kids in his class at school. At least I'm awake now though, those dreams are annoying.
9:55am Some winged psycho tried to slip drugs into my drink when I went out to get some air and he followed me home. He scared the shit out of Anastasya with all his yelling, for one, and he went all nuts when I told him he was going to get arrested if he didn't get off my balcony. Luckily my guards flew up after him pretty fast and Kyoya also whacked him in the shins with his crowbar and had him in a headlock while the guards cuffed him and took him away. I'm pretty proud of Kyoya for that one, I guess his new training is paying off.
5:33pm I hope my mom burns in hell so she knows what it feels like to be dehyrated.
7:36pm I choose defeat, I walk away, and leave this place the same today~
Well I'm pregnant again. (I know, you're all thinking, "Wow Noemi, AGAIN?") But one day I will have a massive army of children and then a billion years down the line I'll be like Gengis Khan and 14,000 of my decendants will have birthdays each day! And well Kyoya and I decided to have more kids. SOON MY MINI-ME'S WILL RULE THE WORLD! (Lol jk more like I'm going to have a fuckton of grandkids when I get old and I'll get worry lines in my forehead from stressing over all my kids)
8-20-15*eating cheese crackers right out of the box* Good news everyone! Project Ghiest is complete *shakes crackers from box into mouth* and there's no more terrorists in the South! *nomnomnomnom* So now we can all sit back and relax and I'm going to finish these Ritz crackers of victory.
11:11am I know why other countries mock us... IT'S BECAUSE OUR FUCKING MATH PROBLEMS HAVE GRAMMAR MISTAKES
I had the babies tonight since I went into labor early. I used aging spells so they wouldn't be underdeveloped too, and Aaron came too so thanks for that.They should be okay but one of them is still hooked up to oxygen until we're sure her lungs are okay. I had two boys and one girl. The first boy I named Furze after the plant that grows in the Darkness Kingdom and Realty, he looks like Kyoya with cat ears which is really cute. :3 And the girl Kyoya named Anatayumi-Kyouyu (Anata or Kyou for short), she has his mom's dark brown hair and Kyoya's black eyes . The last one was a cute little boy I named Basil Oregano Thyme Parsley Ootori. Yes, I did come up with that name and yes I do like herbs. HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED HIS MIDDLE INITALS ARE O.T.P AND I ALREADY SIGNED THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE-Well poor Basil, he's stuck with it I guess. (Maybe nobody will notice?) And he has light brown hair with a streak of red, a streak of green, and a streak of pink and he also has brown eyes. He also has two pink feathers on the side of his head that are really long and they look really cute. (He's a phoenix were.) All of them are super adorable and I'm glad that they're going to be okay. When I woke up Kyoya was crying and holding them so at least I know he didn't have too much of a breakdown over it happening early. Today's also Purrggh and her sibling's birthdays too, so they line up exactly a year apart which means I aquired fifty children over the course of one year. *I'm going to be insane by age 30*
Update time... Apparnetly after I passed out the foruth one we saw on the ultrasound actually turned out to be alive from Furze's strong magic but she's barely hanging on... Tokoro healed her as best as he could but right now we just have to wait and see if she'll react to the medicine and my magic. Also, I have to feed Basil crushed mangoes and tropical fruits as well as crushed hot peppers because apparently it's good for baby phoenixes. I can say right now, Zoro's handling all that hot pepper stuff, I'm not touching those things. Other than Little Red, *what I named the fourth one for now since she looks like Olivera when she was a baby with the red hair* things seem to be going good.
HELLO FRIENDS I STAYED UP PRETTY LATE LAST NIGHT HEH BECAUSE YA KNOW WHAT TODAY IS! BLOOD TEST AT 1PM TODAY! NATURALLY I'D HAVE TO BE READY TO GO BY 12:30PM WHICH IS IN ABOUT 2 WHOLE HOURS! THEN I'LL GO TO POTTERY CLASS SINCE MY MOM WON'T LET ME STAY HOME EVEN THOUGH MY LEFT HAND (YES THE LEFT I REMEMBER WHERE THE CHAIR FACES AND WHICH GUY IS GONNA TAKE IT AGAIN) WILL BE COMEPLETELY OUT OF ORDER BECAUSE HEH Y'KNOW IT GOT STABBED SO THEY COULD TAKE BLOOD OUT OF IT TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY MEDICINE WORKED! HEH IT CLEARLY DID BUT THEY "NEED TO MAKE SURE"! I'LL BE ON THE WIKI LATER AS LONG AS NOTHING'S GONE WRONG! HEH... SO SEE YA LATER AFTER I'VE BEEN STABBED! HOPEFULLY NOTHING GOES WRONG! READ ALL THE BOLD WORDS TO SUM UP THE THOUGHTS CROSSING MY MIND!
1:28pm I GAVE THEM BLOOD, BLOOD, GALLONS OF THE STUFF! I GAVE THEM ALL THAT THEY CAN DRINK AND IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH, I GAVE THEM BLOOD, BLOOD, BLAAHHHHHHHHHHDDDDDDD; GRAB A GLASS BECAUSE THERE'S GOING TO BE A FLOOD! THAT FUCKING HURT LIKE HELL IT WAS A LIE WHEN THEY SMILED AND SAID "YOU WONT FEEL A THING" I'M SO MAD I'M JSUT SPITTING MCR LYRICS GOD I WANT THE DIMENSIONS TO CRASH SO I CAN GO ALL DESTROYA ON MY MOM
This weird dream crap is getting to me... I just had TWO and one took place in the morning.
9:58pm Battle royalle at the Dressrosa Colliseum today in One Piece for a lot of pirate loot. I'll go try to win that and then I'll go home to spend time with Grunkle Stan, Ford, Mabel, and Dipper.
Tomorrow morning I have a shitty doctor's appointment and I'll probably be back around ten. Hopefully things go well.
AMAZING FUCKIN' NEWS GUYS *FOR ONCE* THE INFLAMATION WAS 6.1! NORMAL IS 5 PERCENT BUT HE SAID HE WOULD TAKE IT! AND I'M NOT VITAMIN-DEPRIVED AND I'M OFF THE PINK AND BLACK PILL IN TWO WEEKS! THEY ALSO SAID I CAN GO DOWN FROM THE STEROIDS IN A MONTH! IT'S PRETTY MUCH OVER FOR NOW AND HE DIDN'T ASSIGN ANY BLOOD TESTS FOR ME! VICTORY HAS COME AT LAST!
Just doing more missions today.... Nothing really anyone would be interested in.. Just the same old shit for me.
11:04pm Well Kyoya's dad is dead.
Kyoya's dad's funeral is today.... It's such a dreary day...
A new month, a new hell. It's September, and as far as I know summer is officially over. Now comes the cold, wet, dreary winter and the shitty holiday season. I'm looking forward to exactly three things this winter: 1. Wiki-Chirstmas 2. Wiki-New Year's Spam on CC 3. Possibly Wiki-Thanksgiving, not sure about that one since not everyone is American on here. Oh yeah, and dd holidays which will also be extremely stressful. Last night sucked, of course. And in Reality I was up past 2 again having an existential crisis in which I tired myself out from tossing and turning. Then I fell asleep and had a shitty unconscious nightmare about my mom neglecting me before I finally woke up in dd to do some work.
Well Zoro's caring for two little pitbull puppies until he can find them a home, and Kyoya's got a pet sloth to keep him company while he's working at home and nobody's around. He also took Nishi's wisdom teeth out so it was funny to see her on the novocane afterwords.
2:50pm Okay, just making a note of my official wedding color pallette. The colors are going to be purple lavender, mint, and deep blue with silver trim.
Well it's 1:20am and I've finally finished a significant amount of research about DD. I'll post more tomorrow.
Now it's 12:21am and I finally finished ONE page. Well written, lots of words, well-explained, and I used a shit ton of big words. Yes, I only did one, but I am damn proud of that page.
7:44am Well I didn't get a good night's rest! I was loopy all day from accidently getting sedated on a mission and Kyoya had to take my blood again. T.J. came around 6:00pm to bring us home though, so I'm finally out of the ER and I feel much better.
It's 12:37am and I'm realizing how many nights I'm spending into the next days on the wiki lately.... I'm going to be screwed when school starts....
9:31am Good morning wiki, I was up past two and slept in my clothes in Reality. So everyone excuse me if I act odd today since I'll likely be exhausted.
Yet another restless night for me... I didn't end up sleeping until past two thrity last night so I might be kind of tired later on.
5:52pm Well uh... Sad news today... More than usual... Kyoya and Zoro said they wanted to take a small break from love.. Zoro's going to be doing a lot of traveling for his forest guardian job and Kyoya just wants to figure himself out a little more... They said maybe I should see other people maybe and we'll see what the future holds... Maybe it'll be good for me, who knows? But uh... I guess I saw it coming for awhile.. I don't think anyone should fall in love with me anyway, I'm sort of like a grenade...
I'm going into New York today around 11am and I probably won't be back until dinner. Sorry I can't be on much today.
Well nothing much new in DD. I got back from an overnight sniper trench mission in the north of our country last night and we eliminated a small terrorist organization. Also, I'm doing some early morning ice mining and rock mining in Darkness. I guess we're a kingdom always in need of new gems and rocks and whatnot since we make so many magic amulets. >:3 *rubs hands together* All the better to curse my archenemies with!
We had to send Kyoya to live with his family... He's taking a leave from the crew for awhile... He tried to do stuff to me and well... He's not well in the head and he needs a break...
I relized just now I slept in the Lake last night when I thought something else had happened. Lovely.
Well I just got myself an owl, I named him Lochlan. He's an eagle owl with black, silver, white, and blueish feathers. :3 I also adopted Lochlans little owlet and named him Lore. Kuro's going to teach him to fly and everything. Apparently both owls were found together, so I just couldn't seperate them. Now I can keep in touch with Hogwarts, maybe they can teach me spells.
9:54pm *This has to do with My Little Pony and the Crystal Empire, as well as Equestrian dark magic* Well all of the Dark Crystal of the Northern Crystal Empire's powers have been blasted to oblivion. I reduced the nasty little rock to it's orginal tiny size and it's embedded in my horn while I'm in my pony form. As for my mostly-human-based forms, I've got a new tattoo on the back of my neck of a red, black, purple, and green diamond-shaped crystal. Quite small, but it's there under all the other unsightly things decorating the back of my neck. The crystal itself is actually inside my skull now apparently.... There's a tiny hint of a pinkish mark on my forehead right above where it is, barely visible except when I use the magic, then this odd-looking diamond thing appears. Not to worry though, I won't be using the dark crystal magic anymore. I've had quite enough of the annoying little rock currupting ponies and turning them into Sombras. (Though I can use the stone for one simple and useful thing-I'll be able to spot dark magic from Equestria with a simple glance. Not that much of an improvement though, I've always seen it before.) So I've taken yet another responsibility into my hands-to protect the stone while I'm alive. The power will only fade when I die. Good thing it's slightly smaller than a pearl, though. I don't need a huge rock in my skull. Just letting everyone know since it's not visible. I guess I can say I've got holes and rocks in my head now, great. Now to finally put Princess Amore back together...
I guess certain aquantices of mine find it funny to embarrass me by spamming the inbox of my boyfriend on Wattpad claiming they were "just saying hi". Looks like I need to re-evaluate who I hang around with...
1:04am Well, good morning wiki. #UpPastMidnight
8:22am Woke up an hour and a half ago. I have a cold, (luckily only in Reality, I don't get small colds in dd since the chemicals kill off tiny little germs like that) but it's not too bad and all I really have to do is add another pill to the list to take along with the six others I already have to take today. But fear not, I shall be on all day! Nor cold nor injury stops the security guard from doing her job! *or her homework which she should probably take a crack at later*
4:50pm I went through this weird portal thing and now my Consciousness is a little better.... Odd... Especially considering there was an entrance to a Break-Out portal there too.... And the fact that it's gone now and that all I had to do to leave was walk back through a wall...
Crazy Dark Arts attack at Tree's school. He and Leif are wizards on top of everything else. >.< So many kids, it's hard to figure out which have what powers! Looks like I'm gonna have to talk to Dumbledore. Tree's wicked powerful too. This is so crazy...
Well a big lot of my kids shipped off to boarding schools to get educations... Magic, military, medicine, all the important stuff... They seemed pretty interested, so I hope they're happy with what they're doing in life. They've got great potential. I'm glad at least SOME of them stayed home though.
Im sorry about today. All of whats happened with Bitter and the past two weeks of them controlling me.I didn'teven know thiswas going on until she threw us into the gorge. i'm okaynow so dont worry. im jsut really sorry and i understand if you guys dont really wantt to talk to me
I have inhaled too much hair dye. I'm slightly high on purple. DD should be interesting.
10:27pm GUYS NEVER LOOK AT BUZZFEED FOOD VIDEOS BEFORE BED YOU WILL GO TO SLEEP STARVING. THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE I NEED FOOD TOO MUCH HAIR DYE
So I finally put the hairspray in and I look like someone with dark brown hair tried to dye it purple with really super-cheap hairspray. It's only a mere hint of purple. -___________- I look like someone who wanted to be me for Halloween and decided to be really cheap about it.
9:58pm I've been out for about 12 hours today. Maybe I'll sleep good tonight.
I am so tired. I did some serious editing late today though. *yawns and stretches* Time for bed though. More editing tomorrow, hopefully, after I finish all the homework I've been putting off.
I JUST REALIZED OCTOBER 5TH WAS MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY ON THE WIKI HOW DID I FORGET NOOOOOOOO!
8:50pm I'm sick. Sick from all this anxiety and sick because the meds are destroying my immune system. Sick because I'm a god damn mess and I don't get enough sleep or food. Sick because I caught my brother's cough and sick because of a disease I can never cure. Sick, because I don't know where my life is going and sick because I miss people. But I'm always sick, and it'll be like that forever. So I guess there's no change from any other day.
This meme describes my state of wellness right now:
Today in dd I woke up to a zebra man licking my face and he and his friends sneaked themselves into my castle disguised as pets from Kuro. So there were zebras on my balcony too. And they sent me odd letters. I also found a bag by the window containing a loaded desert eagle, a water gun and acid cartridge, some of my hair ties, and a watch Shanks gave me. Zeke called Mal to get rid of them though... I wasn't about to open my door to great them. Thanks you two.
Nothing much new for now. Might have to go to battle against Loyalists in the north of the country today but I can handle it. We're going to annihilate them.
WE ARE THE MOX
The wiki doesn't like me now because I'm in 1st. I keep getting all the glitches! STOP HATING ME WIKI I LOVE YOU
11:09pm If I act unusually mean or weird just ignore me, my head's a mess and my emotions are getting all mixed up at random times- sometimes mixing with the ghosts'. That or I'm cracking. Sorry in advance while I'm level-minded.
Well today was a big day for me. My crew disbanded for the most part; the soldiers, band, and other families and members moved on to other places. I told my crew the truth about everything and I proved Aunt Maia's rumors wrong. Now, living with me are Ban, Jamie, Alex, Aaron, Ryule, and their kids, 25 of my kids who stay on the 21st floor with Fawn, the ghosts on the 13th corridor, and my pets. Aaron said he'd stay with me to help straighten things out with the kids which was very nice of him :3 and Jamie and Ban are staying inside with me while Ban is here in Moxidius. Jamie can't live in his shed over the winter and Ban can't stay in the forest in the cold either, so they'll be with me on the penthouse floor. Everyone's still kind of sorting out floors and rooms though but I'm just happy to be free again and I can finally live with friends who actually care. And now, finally, I can stop practically living in Dreyus's house. (Which I am sorry for by the way.) I just feel like a really big weight is lifted. I'm 18 in the dream dimension now and I can officially make my own adult decisions legally. I don't have my dads and my aunt and all my sisters dragging me down and disapproving of who I have in my life anymore and the kids have more room. My next step really is just moving on from what happened over the summer. My dad died, I got sick, Zoro and Kyoya broke up with me, and my crew slowly and unofficially went inactive. But now I have a new life to live. I lead two kingdoms and I help lead a country, I have Zeke and everyone at the cafe to see after work or during it depends, I have the kids and some friends living with me now which give me a reason to come home again, and I have this place and you guys. I just want to say thanks for always being there and I hope, now, I can redo my house a little and have people over here more without the fear of tension anymore.
Mmkay I'm kinda sick but not as sick as I was like an hour ago. Showers and pills go a long way!
Well we arrested the Loyalist leader and his wife, Nathaniel and Kathrine Isolar today as well as the second-in-command of the army John Reinfield. I'm taking in Nathaniel's four-year-old son Anthony for the time being. He's been through a lot I see, too innocent to be one of the true Loyalists and there's something different about him from what I can see.
I spent some time with the boy yesterday... He's still giving me an odd vibe. They're still deciding on what to do with his parents and John Reinfield, but I'm pretty sure they will be executed.
11:02pm Note to self: Never wear black velvet pants to bed again or dye seeps into legs and turns them blue.
Home today from shitty disease. Mom fought me something awful about staying home because she doesn't understand that taking some liver-destroying pain pills and scarfing down breakfast ten minutes before school starts on 5 1/2 hours of sleep isn't going to fix things. Apparently staying home for one damn day of the week to get some rest and deal with pain is going to "ruin my life". Unless I'm staying home during a standardized collage exam, I don't think I'm destroying my whole life. It's ONE day, for Aaron's sake and it's not like I'm staying home because I had a damn headache, in case she didn't fucking notice I have a chronic fucking disease that never goes away and is going to constantly pain me for the rest of my existence even if I take a bitchload of pills. I'd love to see her reaction if someone told her to "rouse herself and toughen up" if she was having a flare-up.
Pills, man, these pills...
Warning: The following story is a rant composed by a comrade in a state of terrible distress and is probably selfishly written. Turn back now and avoid wasting your time.
4:25am- I cannot get but an exact two-hour rest from this merciless plague. Precisely two hours before this, I awoke from an Unconscious dream that consisted of Lotus killing me and sending me to Hell in what seemed to be a living video game and I couldn't find Mal. The pain was unbearable and while I was washing my hands and slashing water on my face in the bathroom, I noticed I had forgotten to take my final pills of yesterday: The two raspberry-colored ones that I must take or the disease will wander out of line, as well as the small yellow one full of vitamin D3. I knew I had made an awful mistake and quickly took them, realizing that the pills had lodged themselves in my throat and chest, scraping against the already sensitive and beaten ulcer, which I believe has once again opened as full-fledged, painful sore. And it had to be that one of course, so I will be in a state of searing unpleasantness as I consume food and have the urge to cough everything up or drown myself in endless cups of water caused by the horrible weight of whatever I have eaten to remain upon the spot. Just now I awoke again to images of nightmarish creatures (and not the friendly kind) in my eyes, as well as the all-too-familiar wretched scorching pain burning and twisting my insides as if I have had acid for dinner. I could do nothing but let out a pathetic shout and wish for a butcher knife to carve out my intestines and end the suffering, but nothing seemed to work. It was so nerve-overpoweringly torturous that I had to fling myself out of my bed once again, dreading what was to come. After a most excruciating experience that included almost screaming at the heating pad to burn hotter, I was faced with the bathroom sink again while Domino had another early morning munch on her cat food, unaware what it truly felt like to be able to eat delici
ous edible substances so ravenously because she had not been bestowed under the curse that I am. My cheeks are still a searing reddish pink and my eyes are nearly watering from the pinching, terrible feeling of being alight with flames. Fever flows through my veins now, through my entire being like fire ravaging a town after a most vexing storm. The suffering caused by the illness is a strong vibration piercing me through the intestine like a rusty, anti-venom dipped spike. Pressure pushes upon me physically and mentally without ceasing, and I do not dare rouse my mother from her bed. I do not want to be in the Americaish place of that all but too familiar hospital, even if this feels like an emergency. I merely snort at the option of taking more Tylonal, yesterday has taught me that too many of those small, crisp white pills can bring upon a torture of their own. No, I shall remain here and drink more water, wallowing in a mistake I have now made twice. I shall never, ever, not even if someone was trying to force it down my throat, eat fried sustenance during a bad flare-up ever again. I also do not blame this violent game my innards are forcing upon me entirely on last night's dinner, but part of it at least. Perhaps this is Karma, punishment for my crimes, but all I am aware of is how this torment has kept me from rest for three nights in a row. I will never be sincerely healed, nor will I ever stop being in such agony as this every once and awhile- But what I do wish for is mercy on this most despairing night, and I yearn to be able to sleep to escape this horrible discomfort for but just a few more hours until the dawning of the day is upon us. It is now 5:03am, and if anyone has read this far I congratulate you, but I also apologize for my selfishness. If I am to die at any point due to this vile period, at least it was during a time when I had real companions and undeniably a real home. Thank you.
6:13pm- So apparently Fox is going to make the Moxidius page longer than this log, good luck with that! Also we have a new girl, Eloxia. She lives in Daegon.
This day has been miserable. I don't know where I am and I don't feel safe anywhere. I feel as if I am being watched by something sinister and I feel lost. I'm sorry.
OKAY FAM I AM LIKE SO FACKIN DONE WITH MY INTERNET COMPANY THEY WERE ALL LIKE "O WE'LL FIX UR INTERWUBS" ON FRIDAY NIGHT AND WHEN THEY COULDN'T DO IT THEY WERE ALL LIKE "O WE'LL HAVE THE TECH GUYS LOOK AT IT TOMORRO BETWEEN 1 AND 5PM" AND THEN YESTERDAY THEY WERE LIKE "O YEAH NO INTERWUBS 4 U BITCHES U NEED A NEW ROUTER FROM OUR INTERWUB ROUTER WAREHOUSE ITLL BE HERE TOMORRO WE'LL NEXT-DAY THAT SHIT" AND THEN IT'S TOMORRO NOW AND WE CALLED UP THOSE FUCKERS ALL LIKE "WHERES OUR FACKIN WIFI INTERWUBS ROUTER" AND THEY WAS ALL "O NO IT SHIPS TO UR HOUSE TOMORRO HAHAHA NO INTERNETS FOR U WE LIED" AND IF THAT FACKIN ROUTER DOES NOT COME IN THE MAIL TOMORROW I WILL FLIP MY FACKIN SHIT AND I WILL FACKIN GET MY FACKIN WIFI 4 FACKIN CHRISTMAS BECAUSE I MISS EVERYONE AND IF I HAVE TO MISS THAT CHAT PARTY AND NOT TROLL THOSE CC FUCKERS BACK VERIZON HEADQUARTERS WILL BURN TO ASHES.
*straightens tie* How was everyone else's day? I'm at the library for awhile.
Well uh, there was an incident with Zoro earlier... I don't really want to talk about it right now, but I got hurt. Mal and Aaron helped me though, and Zoro's going to rehab.... Right now I'm just going to stay where I am in Hell. I don't really know what to do with myself at the moment.
Alright so basically last night Zoro was drunk out of his mind on sake and he came home early in the morning and scared the crap out of the kids and his parents. Midori was hiding in the closet with some of her sisters and brothers and I heard him pounding around screaming my name and the kids were all scared and crying. I went over there with Mal and luckily the kids got out and Mal brought them to HQ. His parents went over to Juanito's house so they're safe too, but I had to keep the old green headed bastard busy until one of my army teams came to get him to rehab. I went Unconscious for a few seconds after he punched me in the face and grabbed me by the neck and he managed to disable the pressure point hidden in my neck that blocks my powers. In short, he threw me against a wall and then pinned me on the couch. Use your imagination for what came next because I don't feel like typing it. Luckily Mal got in the house within a few minutes and brought me to his castle after I went in shock where he and Aaron healed me. (Thanks again for that guys.) I was asleep basically all of last night but I'm hoping to wake up today and go home at least so I can be with the children.
I'm doing better, I suppose. I'm trying to get back on track with my job and everything but it's tiring with the medicine I've been having to take. I might be a bit displaced in DD until I can finally start getting to sleep on my own without the pain pills. I suspect the doctor won't like the reaction I'm giving over shortening my dosage by one red pill instead of having me take four of them every day and well, there's only one way for them to figure that out for sure. My time is running out until I have to go back to LabCorp. I'm hoping that things will start working out for me soon because the absolute last thing I want is stronger medicine and more hospital procedures. Fuck this illness.
3:24pm- Well, it was nice knowing you, first-ever cellphone. Now I can't even see what's on the screen. Time to officially switch to the new one. U___U
Fuck these damn nightmares. I wish I could sleep better.
First log entry of the year!
My mom probably wants me to die today. She refuses to answer my texts while I keep asking her if I can order some damn food and finally eat today while she and Edward have fun in the city. I guess if she can't see me, it doesn't matter if I eat or not. I bet she wouldn't find me dead on the floor until the upstairs floor started to smell if I died of malnutrition.
I wish people didn't change; especially siblings...
OKAY SO I JUST HAD THIS WEIRD-ASS DREAM THAT I WENT TO GO SEE A HORROR MOVIE WITH ALEX AND MY SCIENCE CLASS AND IT WAS ABOUT THESE PEOPLE WITH THESE PIEROGIS THAT WERE EVIL AND HAD EVIL SPIRITS IN THEM AND THE ONLY WAY TO KILL THE PIEROGI SPIRITS WAS TO STAB THEM FULL ON WITH A FORK AND LIKE THIS ONE LADY ONLY GRAZED THE SURFACE OF ONE OF THE EVIL PIEROGIS WITH A FORK AND THE EVIL SPIRITS CAME OUT AND I THINK THEY KILLED THE WHOLE FAMILY AND ALEX WAS JUST SITTING THERE EATING POPCORN SILENTLY AND I REACHED OUT IN THE DARK TO GRAB HER AND BE LIKE "LETS GET OUTTA HERE THIS BE CREEPY ASS SHIT" AND SHE DIDN'T MOVE SO I RAN AND THEN I SAW MY SCIENCE TEACHER AND THERE WAS THIS FLUFFY DONUT PILLOW AND THEN I WOKE UP SO YEAH THAT WAS WEIRD AS FUCK
#SickAF #StayingHomeToday #WikiSecurityGuardAllDayShift #FuckThisShityIllness #TooManyPills #HolyShitIHaveToTakeFiveRedOnes #TooManyHashtags #HashtagsGoOnForMiles
5:18pm- No new medicine yet, guys. I got the bloodwork today but its gonna be a few days until the results reach the doctor. He's booked until February. We don't know what to do. I have to suffer until they give me better medicine. The pain hurts so much I have to miss school. I don't know when I'm going to be okay. Until then I have to take tylonal again and that's going to give me depression. I have to sit tight.
*Sick rant* *Incredibly dreary*
Still sick. I was drugged up as fuck on PM Tylonal so I woke up at noon. I took two tylonals before bed (the blue ones) and I fell asleep until about 12:30am. I woke up in pain, so I just drank some water and went back to bed and lay there in half-sleep until 1:30am in more pain and had some more water. At 2:10am when I was really sick and tired of all of the pain I took two more blue pills in my 3/4 asleep stupor with a few more cups of water. Unfortunately, there was no food in my stomach and two blue pills right after the last two wore off proved to be a bad idea and the little water I had in my stomach came up after about fifteen minutes of laying in bed. Joy. Luckily the pills stayed down so I just went back to bed after I brushed my teeth and drank some more water. I was broken out of my sleepy daze once again at 3:30am and puked again and I just stopped drinking water after that since I was really, REALLY done with all of this illness bullshit. Eventually the pills and tiredness kicked in and I woke up a few times to just go back to sleep and have more fever dreams until I finally threw myself out of bed at noon and drank some very cold tea my mom left on my desk. At about two I made myself a hot pocket since I didn't want to die of malnutrition and organ failure when my grandma rang the doorbell and made me some pasta. Then my mom came home and she drove my grandma back to her house and went back to the lab to drop something off and now I'm just sitting here in this tired, worn-out, what-the-fuck-happened state. So yeah. That was my day, if you could call it that. Also apparently the doctor wants to put me on some stronger steroids if my blood results came back bad. Yay for side effects and hopefully there's no facial swelling involved.
*Sick/Depressed/Pondering "Life"/So Done With This Bullshit Rant* *Just trying to get over shitty pain pill side effects* *Don't waste your time reading this because it's meaningless rambolings* *One day I'll look back on my miserable self in this log entry and laugh because my life will be so much better then* *Time to go eat some yogurt and listen to MCR*
I can't take this shit anymore. Why can't I be better? Why do I have to be fucking diseased? My mom keeps saying she's trying to keep me alive, but alive isn't fucking living. NONE OF THIS IS FUCKING LIVING, NONE OF IT. I WOULD BE FUCKING DEAD RIGHT NOW IF I DIDN'T TAKE ALL THESE STUPID PILLS AND NOW THE FUCKING DISEASE CAN OVERPOWER THEM, SO THEN WHAT? STRONGER PILLS. IV MEDICINE. HOSPITALS. SURGERY. YEAH, I'M ALIVE, OH GREAT SCIENCE IS FULL OF MIRACLES! I CAN FINALLY GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND EARN SOME MORE STRAIGHT A'S TO MAKE MOM LOOK GOOD! FANTASTIC! I WAS JUST WAITING ON THE EDGE OF MY FUCKING SEAT TO GO BACK TO STRESS-LAND!
You know what isn't living? Hanging onto life through pills and health drinks or being hooked up to an IV and being cut off from society in some shitty fucking hospital.
That's all I want out of my doctor. And do I get it when I need it? No. I have to sit around in my crappy cold-ass house laying around eating bowls of rice and soup and drinking water while the entire world operates around me. I'm just sitting here day by day watching my ribs stick out more and feeling like my stomach is trying to kill me from the inside out while taking so much fucking tylonal that I'm having breakdowns like this in my log. But who else do I tell this to? My incredibly loving blood family? I smell dinner burning downstairs and my brother's just as glued to his computer as I am my laptop these days because Dad's not here to care about us anymore and we take to the internet. As for my dad, I really hope if he's up in paradise Heaven land that he's not looking down on his favorite kid practically fucking wasting away. Now I have to go eat some yogurt or some shit so I don't have major organ failure and notoriously die at fourteen when I have a dimming spark for a life left in Reality and a burning fucking forest fire of a life to live in DD. I know I sound just fucking joyous about all of this, but it's only a couple more days so I'm going to tough it out and hope I don't have to take pain pills for much longer because when they list "depression and/or suicidal thoughts" on that little bottle they fucking mean it.
Luckily my antidote is ranting.
1-22-16 I'm done.
Well I've reached the last fucking milestone. They're putting me on Remicade once I'm doing healing a little from my great new stupid pills. Every 8 weeks I go to an outpatient center to sit in a fuckin' chair and have a bunch of chemical shit blasted into my veins for an hour. Eventually I get to do it at home with my convenient little home-IV set up that I'll have eventually. How quaint. My other alternative? Having invasive surgery so they can hack out that bad part of my intestine and stitch the shit back together while I lay in agony on a hospital bed with them feeding me food down a tube. Not as nice, you see. And in about 10 years it'll all come back again and news flash: I don't have endless intestines to remove, so eventually I'd have to give in anyway. So yeah. Remicade every 8 fuckin' weeks getting injected into my weak little veins while my mom sits there reading a People or Vanity Fair magazine without a damn fuckin' care in the world. Guess I gotta get over my dumbass needle fear.
So yeah, read the title. I'm done.
There's no more board game of twists and turns, no more surprises. The Reality of things is that I'm on this shit until they find a cure. It's a wonder they used minor meds to treat a moderate form of this shitty disease for as long as they did with me. This is the last actual update with new news. I'm fucked for the rest of my life. No more healthy Noemi. I'm 89 pounds and fourteen years old and the disease I have was diagnosed in me a few months ago. It's incurable so I have to suffer with everyone else until they find something. That's as blunt as it gets and it's all they're going to do for me unless I get worse, and hope that doesn't happen because that's a whole other nightmare. Case closed, mystery solved. Whoop dee doo. Time to go pay the expert specialists working so hard for a cure who totally wouldn't make you wait around a week for medicine while you're in agony.
So my brother had to shovel some snow so we could go out to eat and the restaurant was closed. He started an argument in the car and calls me weak and a cold bitch and told me to stop being so fragile. Meanwhile my mother just sat there and said fuck nothing. He kept telling me how fucking nice he is to me and how I'm mean back and I told him he treated me terribly and mentioned some of the shit he does to me, and then he says he's never doing anything for me again and just curls up and doesn't even want to talk to me. We get home and he closes the locked door behind him while I'm still outside in the frigid cold. I had to hit that fucking door so hard to get my mom to pay attention that now my hand is probably bruised and my whole arm hurts. OVER SHOVELING SOME FUCKING SNOW. HE HAD TO SHOVEL SOME FUCKING SNOW AND I HAD TO WASH ALL HIS DISHES. SHOVELING. SNOW. DAMN HIM AND HIS FUCKING LAZINESS AND HOW HE TREATS ME LIKE CRAP BECAUSE IF HE HAD THIS FUCKING ILLNESS HE WOULDN'T BE CALLING ME WEAK. Just fuck all of this. I'm so done.
Well the streak continues I guess. Up since 2:30am with pain, felt weak and exhausted as shit by 6:50 when my mom came in and asked me if I had a bad dream since I was making pathetic noises from my stomach hurting. She kept saying how she had been awake since I had gotten up and she was still going to work, therefore I had to go to school as well. She tried to forcibly yank me out of bed and starting crying like twice this morning and told me not to blame her when I have to repeat 8th grade. She also kept trying to drill the image of all my friends going on in life without me while I had to stay behind with 7th graders. My eyes ache too much to keep them open so I'm just going to finish my yogurt and keep resting. If I'm as pathetic as my mom says I am, I probably don't have long until something gives anyway. I'm going to go to school tomorrow and I'm NOT going to repeat 8th grade if it's the last thing I don't do. I didn't work my ass off during the remission months for nothing and I'm going to get back on track. Still doesn't help with her breathing down my neck, but I'll do it.
^___^ I'm feeling better today and I only have science and math homework!
Delayed opening because of snow. Pretty stupid if you ask me. They should just cancel it if the snow is still coming down, like hell people will want to show up.
Got back from the doctor's an hour ago. I'm not going to rant about it this time. Feel free to use your imagination.
It's going to be one of those days
Today I actually slayed in gym class! #Goals
I actually did well in gym today and I actually had fun and broke a sweat instead of playing sit-on-the-bleachers-and-daydream-about-bae!
It's been a weird day, but strangely nice.
OH AND IT'S FRIDAY BISHES TIME FOR #WEEKENDONTHEWIKI
Well all times of prosperity come to an end I suppose. My mother told me the Humira medicine was weeks off, but she wants me to start three days after I stopped taking the antibiotic holding me over while simultaneously giving me thrush throat. (Thank Aaron that shit is gone too.) She's afraid I'll get another flare up so soon and she doesn't want me missing more school- Something I don't blame her for I guess. But the Humira process starts in these eight steps:
- Signing a shit load of insurance papers and whatnot
- Me going to the doctor (probably tomorrow) to be pricked with a needle to make sure I don't have fucking tuberculosis or hepatitis-B or HPV and a bunch of other horrific sounding illnesses that I clearly do not have. After that, I go BACK to the doctor the next day or so they can see if the little dot turned blue or green or whatever the fuck to see if I'm positive or negative.
- Blood test at Labcorp because last time they tested for THE WRONG THING. THANKS.
- Green light to get the Humira, my mom will try to sign me up for that as fast as possible, so she'll try to have all the papers and the appointment settled by then. I don't know if it's weeks or days away.
- First time: 4 stabs of the Humira needle in some outpatient center or some shit in my fucking LEGS.
- Two weeks later, it's 2 stabs.
- Two weeks later and I begin the cycle of a stab every two weeks on a weekend. So every two Sundays I guess.
- Repeat step 6 until a cure for Crohn's disease is found, they find a better medicine, if I die, or if I'm in the minority of people aWhen you see this badge you know you're mellergic to Humira which- We better hope that I'm NOT aller #IAdmitgic to it- would cause another slew of problems.
Any way you look at it, it involves needles.
TB test later in the afternoon instead of right after school. Still freaked out.
2:36pm- Fuck tuberculosis
2:54pm- I'm not scared.
3:10pm- Nope. Not scared.
3:17pm- NOPE NOT AT ALL NOT AFRAID
3:20pm- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA IT'S GETTING LATE
3:32pm- Waiting is the hardest part.
5:06pm- I can't take this anymore
Still no giant bump on my right arm, so no tuberculosis! Yay! After the blood test, I have another stab wound in my left arm! Now the fun game to play is "Which side do I roll on when I want to take a nap and which one will hurt the least?"
Well at least it's over.
One day I'll look back on this and laugh.
Guess who's home sick again today?! Meeeee! Well luckily I'm not painfully ill (yet, just wait until my breakfast passes through the Saw trap of my intestines) and I get to chill all day doing fuck nothing while all the same enjoying myself before next week when I start Humira. ☠
Yesterday I got my bloodwork (woo hoo!) and hopefully it comes back negative for Hepatitis B and hopefully my inflammation rate went down.
On the bright side, my mom didn't give me a hard time today!
On the not so bright side, next week starts the endless cycle of dread and utter fear of getting injections in two-week intervals.
I'll figure it out.
I'll be on chat in a few. Woke up late and my mom's in a rush to go to the city. I got out of going, luckily.
10:03am If my grandma's internet doesn't work, I'll be back within an hour or two for the afternoon and maybe we can go mess with CC.
3:10pm . . .
Happy Leap Year. Not-Happy Monday. Back to school for me, hopefully I make it.
When u so hardcore they need to make platinum badges for u
IT WENT BACK TO ONE WTF I WORKED HARD FOR THOSE 200 DAYS WHAT IS THISSSSSSSSSSSS NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER FULL YEAR
3:25pm Well, I'm about to decide my own fate. According to a text my mom just sent me, the Humira nurse has to come to my house next week to give me my first injections. Plural because it's still four needles which are currently sitting in a large, ominous, brown paper bag at the bottom of my refrigerator. I have to pick a day, supposedly. I just went with Monday so I can get it over with fast. I wouldn't want to put off until Friday and increase my stress-levels for five days for no reason. I'm allergic to that stupid shit I better not blow up because if I do I'm not fucking going to school and I'm not letting them inject any more toxic poison into me.
Someone better find a cure for this shitty disease soon because I don't plan to be a Humira addict and I refuse to become dependent on fucking needles for my whole damn life.
Seriously, fuck Crohn's disease. I am NOT living my entire existence dreading injections of straight up chemicals that fucking SUPPRESS my immune system forever. Fuck that. In another thousand years they'll have some fancy, pain-free way of eliminating these stupid-ass diseases and they'll laugh back at the caveman times we live in where we actually had to get needles.
It's going to be a long millennium.
Injections at 5pm today. Not looking forward to this shit after seeing the size of the needles. I'm basically getting stabbed with thumb-tack sized tubes that are filled with poison in an attempt to control this shitty ass disease. Probably the bleakest outlook I could have taken, sure, but it's about as blunt as it gets. I gave myself a headache just grimacing over it all day.
6:00pm- I'm never fucking doing this again I can't
Well I got so rekt yesterday from that Humira, my brother is sick, and my mom had to get a hospital procedure today so we all decided to stay home. Nothing like ramen for breakfast and avoiding the injection sites as much as possible! I'm better today but in two weeks time I'll have to feel the extremely scorching and utterly agonizing so-terrible-it-makes-you-scream-for-mercy-and-feels-like-a-thousand-shots-of-Drano clear, chemically poisoned immune suppressant that was cleverly named Humira to distinguish it from the other popular medicine which has mouse juice it masked by the title "Remicade" in the form of small but deadly and again, agonizingly painful injections twice.
Seriously though I'm not kidding fml that shit is horrible
Well time to spend all day on the wiki
Well I'm at a hotel now, but I'm going to try to be back around four after lunch. I'll probably make it though.
2:46pm Well I'm back. The lights make an unsettling noise, we're on the first floor, and there isn't much space for the three of us but I suppose this is the best we could do. It's pouring outside so we're staying in....
1:06pm And I'm backkkk~ We just walked in a few minutes ago. *cuddles cats* It's great to be home.
Last night we took the biggest Loyalist party down in fighter planes. I was there. They fell pretty easy, and most of us weren't hurt. After we arrest the few more main members of their party, northern Moxidius should be positively rid of them. Now we can finally take more action in the southern and eastern parts of the country.
I fucking hate my fucking mom she's a fucking stupid bitch and she fucking hit me for crying I hope she burns in Hell
4:20pm- Just dropped my phone in the oven
Don't worry it's okay just some slight melting on the back.
Well we drove the Loyalists out of southern Moxidius.
AND THEY ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS TO ARREST LET ME TELL YOU
My fuckin Humira came in the mail today in a giant Styrofoam cube that will contribute to pollution on the planet.
Looks like I'll be getting one of them every other Wednesday.
HUMIRA IS OVER HALLELUJAH
3:00pm- GOT OUT OF GYM CLASS AND WENT TO SCHOOL LATEEEE
I'm so thug I came in the middle of 2nd period after a shower and my breakfast and the dean of students was observing the class too.
I walked in like "AYE SORRY I'M LATE TO THE PARTYY
Did the humira last night, my leg is still sore. XP 'least it's over.
Got my bloodwork done yesterday. I think I'm loosing my voice. Thanks, immune system.
Yeah we all predicted it, I'm sick again. Also, my log got to 100 comments. Yay, I'm popular. Anyway I'll just be sitting here
watching the wiki
trying not to crumple under the impending doom of next week
maybe playing some pokemons
normal noemi stuff
hope everyone has a nice day
*ignore me i'm slightly delusional with fever*
Still sick and I can't stop fucking sneezing, I'm this cat like seriously:
So I have to do 42 math lessons before the end of the school year or I'm failing this one dumbass class. Fml.
*Caution: Opinionated rant approaching*
So according to my mom, I'm going to have to go to the stupid North Carolina trip this year because it's my grandpa's 80th birthday and *eyeroll* I have to go because they're "family". They aren't. They're relatives and I don't want to go to their stupid, racist, transphobic, homophobic state. I don't want to spend a week in a place that flies the Confederate flag, eats their steaks raw in the middle, or that thinks that China and Japan are "basically the same thing". I don't want to spend a week in house where "all Muslims are bad because they're all terrorists" or a house where "Donald Trump is the best presidential candidate hands down and why would people vote for anyone else?"
I don't want to stay in a place where I'm going to be forced to eat their shitty overcooked pasta and sit around while the adults drink bottle after bottle of alcohol and talk about how teenagers always think they're right, but they're actually wrong when in Reality they are all ignorant and don't know what the fuck culture and education is.
I don't want them to ask me to go church Sunday morning or watch my cousin's cheer-leading routines or get tackled by their giant dogs or told that I'm weird.
I refuse to take Humira under the roof of the kinds of
assaholic nimrods who think that I just need to "suck it up" and "deal with my illness" and who have absolutely no fucking clue whatsoever it is to live like this and who isn't that I'm just being a baby BECAUSE HOWEVER MUCH THEY TRY TO DENY IT, LAST YEAR WAS A BUNCH OF FUCKING ABUSE.
I could go on and on about how ignorant and uncultured they are, but it will do nothing. I either protest my way out of the trip or I'm forced to go.
And I am not
And I repeat, NOT
Taking any fucking Humira or going on any stupid ass fucking dumb trips to Florida, the very state that had quite an awful weekend these past few days with my relatives OR putting up with any Rakena-damned bullshit from my cousins.
I will be the most irritating person to be around and their expectations of me will be so low from the start that they won't even want to fucking go near me.
The only person I will remotely tolerate other than Edward is my cousin Jenna who still has half a damn of a chance of becoming smart and who needs to understand that the kinds of right wing bullshit she is spewed is corrupt nonsense spoken by people who are too idiotic to understand how the world works.
*straightens tie* I believe I am quite done here. For now.
*Opinionated rant concluded*
Well I have officially been promoted out of the shitty hellhole of a school I went to! I also won Dad's honor back by getting one of these certificate of achievement thingies signed by the prez. I had to blot out some stuff so random peeps lookin' at le wiki can't stalk me:
Sorry about the blog. Didn't get to delete it this morning. I'm alright guys. It's gone now. I'm sorry for scaring everyone again. Tbh it wasn't just about the Humira. Pretty much everyone in my house started harassing me while I was sitting there crying and no one really had any sympathy for me at all until I finally got the stupid shot. As usual, everyone's pretending like nothing happened because that's how these things work in my house. Honestly, I'm glad it's over but I really wish we could all get a break. I know everyone's sick of all the bad news lately. Hopefully we can think of something fun to do to get everyone's mind off of the problems.
Can someone tell me if what I woke up to today is actually real because if this is a prank I fucking swear it was a mean one
Aye yo gurl made cookies:
Chat's got lots of peeps todayyy
8:26am- Okay, I haven't posted a log entry in awhile so future me reading this is gonna be like "So, what'd I do the first week of August? Hmm? Fucking nothing? Seems legit." Anyway, future me (and anyone reading this): Noemi, you did nearly fucking nothing this week and you didn't start your summer work earlier because you were playing goddamn Pokemon Go you irresponsible brat and it came back to bite you in the ass. You ate instant chicken ramen for breakfast and lunch way too many days last month and fOR FucK'S SAkE yOu ShOuLD bE STUdyIng I sEE yOU ScrOLLIN WhEn YoU GOt tHat GeOMetry TEST
Also sorry for freaking anyone the fuck out this past week I've been depressed af and the only thing that got me out of bed yesterday was my grandma because she found out I slept through breakfast and she's one of those grandmas that when she finds out you haven't eaten breakfast she's like the lady on the right with all those eggs and sausages cooking. Well, more like she grabs her olive and grape-print soup ladle and a box of pasta and Parmesan cheese and she's like "WHAT KIND OF PASTA DO YOU WANT?" So yeah I'm not dead. We're done here. Bye.
So as some of you know, I have to take a stupid trip starting tomorrow. I'll be coming home on Wednesday. Don't worry, it's not going to keep me off the wiki. If anything I'll try to be on more since I can't stand my relatives. I wish I could just stay home this week but it's not like I'd be able to back out anyway, my mom already bought the plane tickets (even though I told her not to.) So yeah, I have to go on this stupid trip. Once it's over, my anxiety will be a little better. I'm not going to be in a very good mood tomorrow morning probably because I don't like going on planes that much. I'll just do my best to get through it, but sorry in advance if I see really annoyed these next few days.
10:30pm- *Warning: Don't read this unless you want to hear about my stupid problems. I need to rant.*
So I haven't even left yet and I already hate this vacation. First, my mom makes me give her twenty dollars out of my dog-walking money to pay for a t-shirt, a pair of socks, and a backpack for school (as if Social fucking Security doesn't give her thousands of dollars to care for me anyway) and now I have to wake up early and get on a stupid plane to go the state of transphobia. All of this is for my grandpa's birthday apparently since there's going to be a dinner at some fancy steakhouse. But guess what? Only the adults are going since a steak there is $40 dollars, and chicken and fish are $30 each. They could have gone to a MUCH cheaper restaurant with the whole family together but noooo they have to bring themselves closer to heart attacks with booze and overpriced meats.
Meanwhile, what do we get? Fucking frozen chicken nuggets or instant mac and cheese or some shit. There aren't even any good exotic take out places! It's all high calorie shit like fried chicken and ribs, and everyone here knows I'm not a big meat person. So in short, I'm basically going to a stupid vacation to sit around on my electronics all day just like I do at home only surrounded by people I hate and with worse food. Lovely. But I guess if she dragged me on a plane last year when I could barely move because of the pain, she'll have no problem bringing me along this year. Seriously just fuck this I'm just gonna go on the wiki all day. I can't wait to get back home already and I'm still here.
10:01am- Boarding the plane now
1:29am- Going home this morning, thank Nafa. I'll recap when I get home again.
10:33am- Had time to come on before I have to go. I'll probably head to my uncle's in less than an hour, the plane leaves at 1:25 this afternoon so with luck I should be back home in the good old north by around 3-5pm.
It's been awhile but the plan seems to be working and school approaches. >__<
7:24am- (Emo warning) And school arrives. This morning, sleep did not find me until the cruel hours of 5:45am when my eyes could no longer stay open. I eat to regain a small bit of energy which will be pissed away on wasted quickened beats of my heart in mindless fear. Even if I feel sick to my stomach I need a shot at school today... My mother has also told us she wants her lunch hour back and refuses to pick us up on the first day unless we have heavy books to carry. It is all I can say that if I do somehow drag my very sorry body home I will probably get a bit of sleep. Through all the effort of trudging, perhaps I can pinpoint why I had to be reborn in a body like this. It is all I can muster to keep my eyes open as I write to look for typos... If I survive I'll see you all on the other side.
9:04pm- Things're a sight better than they were earlier... I got some sugar to keep me up to read. Chat had a couple of people on earlier but it's quiet for now. Night crowd is scarce with school happening.
Whew! It's been awhile since I've posted one of these; a month and three days approximately. I was so worried about school, wow. I feel like even if I told month ago Nomeme not to worry, month ago Nomeme would still be like, "Yo, future Noemi, that's great but I'm still worried as fuck and you can't change that" because that's how I am. :3 Anyway, today was quiet as fuck. Like, 3-4 people were on only during the evening since nObODy WaS oN aLl dAy BuT mE aND tHE TuMblEwEeDs. Anyway, back to school tomorrow since Columbus Day is over. ;__; I read some of my past log entries and cringed. *shiver* I was such a little shit. Anyway, things seem to be good with activity but we need a few more people for the Halloween Icon contest. Meanwhile, I'm trying to forget my birthday which is in 3 weekssss... Hhhhhh I'm gonna be 19 and it's my last year of being a teenager and scarin' the livin' shit out of Gerard! >c<
I'm doing alright now but last night was kind of a nightmare. In short, I went to work early to get some important work done and I set an alarm for about 45 minutes in case I didn't finish in time for breakfast so I would snap out of things and go take a break to eat. (And also in case I went unconscious or fell asleep) I ended up falling asleep or something like that and I couldn't get into DD for awhile so I just did some homework in Reality. I remember a few snippets of memories like two med soldiers carrying me and I assumed I was being taken to the infirmary for falling asleep at my desk. Turns out the dudes weren't doctors. I woke up in some musty closet on an unknown floor to that very same alarm I had set. I think the guys had just gotten me in there because they weren't able to go the full nine yards with me. I figured out pretty quickly what was going on to a degree when I heard one of them tell the other one to get out his phone while he took off my clothes. I wasn't having that shit so even as dazed as I was I knocked those motherfuckers out of the closet into a busy hallway and scared the living daylights out of them basically. I found out later they'd slipped me some sort of drug minutes before so I had a narcotic-induced breakdown in a bathroom somewhere ( I forget where ) and some other details happened that I'd rather leave out. Now I have not one, not two, but now THREE trials to go to in the next three months on assault charges. Fuckin fantastic.
All I have to say for today is that I now hate gym class as much as I used to before 8th grade and maybe a little more. Not so fun getting called a walking wreck and being screamed at in front of class by the teacher while everyone laughs and stares.
Domino is sitting on me
Election Day is tomorrow. America is screwed.
Trump won, so we have to wait it out I guess. Zoro's trial is in a couple of days so I'll have to deal with that. Not too excited to see his face again, but I have to appear in court. He's eligible for the death penalty this time, I'm not sure what to think about that. Kyoya's is next month, December 2nd I think? Really strained by all of this, all it's doing is bringing up old problems. I had to temporarily ban the ghosts from my head yesterday too since they embarrassed me. They'll be allowed back next Saturday, so I'll see what they have to say then. Aside from of all of that, it's been a good four day weekend and tomorrow I go back to school. No gym class at least, but now we're in the all new horror of health class. I suppose it's better than being scared all period. Hopefully the rest of this month goes well; after Thanksgiving and winter break next month we won't get any major days off for awhile so it's best to enjoy what we have.
The year is going to come to a close in a couple of months, and it seems like New Year's Day was just last week or something. Still, the wiki year has not ended yet. I think it only really takes a break over the summer, but we were pretty good about getting people back on even then. Even though we've accomplished a lot so far, I know there is so much more that will happen in the next few months. We've already met two Gods and most of the archangels, we've seen pictures from DD (included Innes's and Mal's), and we're learning more and more about our world all the time with our kind of connections. I know this was an update of mixed feelings, but I still felt the need to catch up a little so future Noemi has some timestamps of when stuff happened. See you guys later, I hope I can remember to post here more.
Honestly I'm so exhausted and hungry I'll tell you guys later when I'm more dead but more awake.
So done right now
Like the amount of stress on me at this exact moment of my life is astronomical and I actually have no fuckass clue how I'm going to write a goddamn five paragraph essay next period and take a test and then go to English because I c a n ' t and I have so little patience right now that if anyone TESTS me I swear I will snap like a motherfucking twig and I will actually try to kill something because right now in this moment and time I CANNOT deal with bs.
2:37pm- Okay I'm alright now I just had a mental breakdown in the bathroom a couple hours ago but I'm okay now
Kuno jeji nithi as rasta? Nekei pesta I delci. Ponussa jes ke alaka semnithe lis hyun caces yukin? (That's a note in ancient Darkness that I'm just leaving here for the future.)
December 1st, a lot happened today. It started when I got threatened very pathetically by the fire king's son today but I just handed him back to his guards. Also, Bitter's gone. I had a sort of incident with her, but God helped me get rid of her and heal me up. (Ngl I looked like a mangled chicken but I'm back to usual now.) I think she was a malevolent force that grew on me because of all the pressure with my life and the God powers, which I managed to splice away from my memories in time. I'm quite tired, but I'll be fine after a few hours of rest. On a more positive note, I can't believe Ere and Fall are a year old today. Kids grow up so fast... Anyway, I've gotta finish an essay and go to bed. Night.
I feel better today, less tired, but still kind of sore. I'll eat good to get the strength back, but I'm still sort of shaky and anxious. It's weird not having Bitter in my head; relieving, but weird. I'm always just expecting nasty remarks at every stray thought or mistake... Sometimes I get echoes of her voice, like what she WOULD say to something even if she isn't here. I'll probably get over it with time, but thanks for the consideration guys. Sorry for the vague update yesterday, I was still pretty in shock over everything but trying to stay positive about it since it does feel like a big weight has been lifted from me. The most I can do right now is hope I don't develop another force like Bitter and take it easy today. Anyway, that's all for now.
Ugh CC is full of trash people right now, wish there were decent people on later at night.
11:57pm- Feeling better after the other day, I got my energy back but I'm still a little shook and unsteady with the silence. Each day gets easier. I value my arms more, at least. Today I have to stay home because I'm medically not allowed back to work until I've had a rest so I'm going to get some chores that needed to be done finished and off my never-ending to-do list. That's all for tonight.
Assistants still won't let me back to work. :/ I'm getting a bunch more holiday chores and things done today so I suppose that'll keep me busy. Also counting on spending some time with my babies before the weekend ends. At this point I'm just counting down until winter break so I can finally have some days off from school. I can't believe the marking period is almost half over, I feel like school just started! XP Well if the year's going fast that only means summer will get here sooner, so at least we've got that. After Valentine's Day there's not too many holidays, so I guess we've got to make the most of the days off and cheery spirits before we hit the winter slump which is basically just everything after New Year's (aside fromValentine's Day) up until the end of April. After the holidays, I just want it to get warmer again. Anyway, I'm going to bed now because I'm tired af and I'm glad I can finally go to bed at a reasonable time because I have no homework.
Super tired but I'm okay. I just kinda wanna get through school so I can go home... Not enough people helped do the problems in math so the teacher made the test for Wednesday harder and it's freaking me out. Not only that but like... Ugh I feel really pressured to stay in honors but I don't think I'm going to make it to calculus senior year and that's killing me because I keep getting told that if I drop honors I won't look good for college.
10:50pm- Boi o boi Nomeme did her a real big procrastinate today! I didn't even start my math homework yet and all I have for my history outline is the title, the date, and a fucking bullet point with no words following it. Time to go like sanic if I want to go to bed before 1am! (Really I'll be fine tho I'm just digging more holes for myself) Night
BOY OH BOY MY PRAYERS GOT ANSWERED TODAY
90 ON THAT MATH QUIZ YEEEEE
THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO MAY HAVE ASSISTED ME IN THIS GREAT ACHIVEMENT
Let's just hope I pass the harder quiz tomorrow :^)
Well I know for sure I didn't pass that test
Now I'm just hoping I don't fail for the year
Annnd Kyoya's trial today, great. Just what I need.
11:30pm- I'm having a rough day but after the trial later I'm just gonna take a hot shower and just deal with the problems as they come along. The Humira didn't come in the mail today which means I'm going to have to do it tomorrow which means I didn't get it over with today and I have a very nagging feeling about taking the needle again and just ughhh I thought I was done super freaking out about this shitttt
So I had a scary ass dream that half my school tried to kill me in my house last night and it was one of those annoying ass dreams where you can't run as fast as everyone else and like I was partially blind like I am in DD so I couldn't see my freaking phone to dial 911 and just ughhhhh I woke up at some early hour and I didn't fall back asleep for awhile. I kept waking up and now I'm tired. ;-; Otherwise everything is good.
K SO I DUNNO IF THIS SOME MIRACLE AND GOD OR INNES OR SOMEONE HELPED ME OUT BUT LIKE I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD MOST OF THAT MATH TODAY AND I DID A PROBLEM ON THE BOARD FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND IM PROUD THANKS TO ANYONE WHO HELPED OUT NOT-SO-STUPID NOMEME TODAY
Also sorry my emotions keep fluctuating I feel like I'm going in this happy, super depressed, happy pattern and it's weird
Mmkay so I'm getting better in my classes and believe it or not I went to bed at 10:31 last night so yeee
I love how I go on to post a security update but Jamie literally just posted one like a minute ago so nvmmm
Anyway shit looks good aside from one lil problem..
There's Humira today :^)
Otherwise I'm good
10:42am- A couple of my friends started some drama today which was really annoying and I have to walk home in the cold. On the bright side, it's Friday and I have warm clothes with me so I guess the trek home won't be too bad.
*Be careful approaching as Nomeme's train of thought will certainly go off the tracks*
Yay another severe emotional shift between log entries
I might actually need a second log page starting at 2017 because Chrome actually crashed when I tried to edit just now and it took me a really long time to finally get here to type this. I packed like a good 2 1/2 years of my documented life on this page, even if the updates were like every month or so at some bits. It's crazy how long this thing has gotten and how fast it grew so maybe that can be something fresh for 2017. Maybe I can have a nice new log to look back on three years from now and go "OH JESUS LOOK AT THAT 2017 CRINGEEEE WOW I'M SO MUCH COOLER NOW *isnt actually just thinks she is*" yeah i can see that happening to future nomeme. I think last week I tried to read over my first entries again and I cringed so hard I barely got through the first three lines.
I was so fucking annoying like god i wanted to slap past nomeme
And then ^ this right here is why I have that NSFW strong language warning from back when i was a complete edgelord decagon screaming about lotus all day and how much i wanted to just kill her already
That I just generally swear a ton depending on my mood...
ehhhh I have more important shit to worry about
Christmas is in like 3 days and i am fucking festive af this year i am P R E P A R E D i mean i hope so i hope i'm not gonna like majorly screw anything up or anything yknow
OKAY NO JINXXING THINGS
I gotta shut up and sleep already this has been your daily dose of me typing every thought that pops into my head while running on 3-4 hours of sleep yay goodnight i must stop this
PS. God, my homie I don't know if you backed me up AGAIN today but seriously I got another 93 on a math quiz yesterday and I understood my homework AND i finished all my shit on time so if that was you or like anyone else helpin out nomeme thanks a ton because i Am 2bLeSsEd2bStReSsEd
Seriously tho like this can't be me just turning my life around on a whim, whoever is helping me thanks fam u lit and u helpin' me pass math this marking period #faithgamestrongaf
GOD MY HOMIE BACKING ME UP WITH THAT 80 ON A TEST HO BOY NOMEME AINT FAILING TODAY THANK YOU SO MUCHHH
12-24-16 The Last Update
I think this is the last time I might be able to get on here. I just barely managed to edit, Chrome keeps crashing. I'm getting a new log asap for the new year. This one has served me well, but it's time to put this thing to rest and open up a fresh new one. I'm kinda shook today from the Satan and Me stream last night (it was wild) but mostly because they got more evidence for Zoro's trials.
They needed more stuff from his phone and when they looked at his records they found out he was cheating on me while we were engaged. He was pretty drunk but I suspected it, tbh. It doesn't take away that I feel kind of shit tho?? I don't know, I'm probably just digging too deep into an old grave of buried bones. Tomorrow's Christmas, so I gotta brighten up somehow. Just feels kinda... Disheartening? That I wasn't good enough. Even when he completely had me under his thumb. Guess I'll have to avoid the papers for a few days too, I'm not in the mood for having my Christmas ruined after I worked so hard this year. I'll do my best.
Anyway, just wanted to say this is probably my last day entering to this log. 350 days of my life are logged here, it sounds pretty insane but I'm glad I got it down. I wonder what this is going to look like to me in a few years. Thanks for sticking with me and reading these guys, even if they were cringey as fuck for most part.